The Black Male Collective and Fake Concern Over Missing Women and Girls

Dear Black Women,

Stop jumping up and parroting everything you get from men who simply don't know and don't want to know any better, as it pertains to feminism. We get it. Some of you aren't down with Feminism because the boys won't like you if you are. But all that talk about Feminists being quiet on the issue of black girls missing in DC is complete and utter BULLSHIT! You're gonna look over all these Black Feminists who have been vocal for all these years, just to say you can't find any white ones who are talking on behalf of missing black women and children?

ARE YOU INSANE???????????

As much as I love my fellow black women, I must admit that I cringe at the sewage that runs from some of your ill informed, partially educated souls. Must you take any and every opportunity to allow men to make fools of you?

Us Feminists have been speaking out against the murder of black women and girls, the rape of black women and girls, the missing black women and girls for years. You remember. It was back when you were screaming that "Not all men" shit you love to use for the sake of deflection. Remember when we going on and on about the abuse of women, and you were telling us that it was just the men we were choosing? Remember back when we were writing articles, blogs, and even appearing on and conducting radio shows addressing the injustices against black women, and you kept wanting to talk about how single we were, and that we were just bitter that we weren't getting laid?

WE'VE BEEN ADDRESSING CRIMES AGAINST BLACK WOMEN AND CHILDREN AT THE HANDS OF BLACK MEN AND THE ALLOWANCE OF BLACK WOMEN FOR MANY, MANY YEARS!

But some of you were too busy dick pandering to give a damn. and the men? The men were and are still too afraid to deal with and confront the type of men foul enough to sell children into sex trafficking rings so what do they do? They use their platforms to attack Feminists, once again. Here you are, once again, arguing with women because you're too afraid to address the men. You've got masterbatory scholars such as Dr. Moist Watkins and his crew of Wet Wipe Soldiers who wanna talk about the voice of feminism. Mind you, they've never really been interested in the voices of feminists, black or white. In fact, very rarely are they interested in women who don't back, support, and hand over their backbones for the sake of pushing and promoting their interests and causes.

So begone with your fake concern about missing black girls. Some of you are nothing more than ambulance chasing Facebook Bloggers who will stop at nothing to grow your fan base. Many of you don't lend much concern beyond the women within your immediate families or reach. Now all of a sudden, you want us to believe that you're genuinely concerned about women and girls who have been missing for years? Yeah, I don't buy all this low fat, low calorie, out of the blue solidarity. If the solidarity were real, these wicked men among us would think long, hard and even possibly reconsider ever touching us in the first place.

So you can run along and go back to your regularly scheduled, "Not All Men" and "You women just need to choose better" programs.

Black Men and Their Allergic Reaction to Accountability

There's nothing wrong with black women who want to figure out how they can better relate to black men. There's nothing wrong with black women who want to better understand how to manage interactions with black men. There is nothing wrong with black women stating that they are only making themselves available ONLY to black men. There really is nothing wrong with these things. In the meantime, what black women don't have to do is cater to or beg for respect from black men who are hell bent on disrespecting them/us. What black women don't have to do is sit online, day in and day out attempting to teach ill behaved black men who lack home training how to speak to us. What we don't have to do is play into the "pick me" traps that black men constantly lay for black women. What we don't have to do is sit back and watch as black men justify disrespecting black women based on whether or not we're dressed in a particular manner or refer to ourselves as feminists. I've seen black men say that they are justified in disrespecting black women who adhere to the feminist movement, yet their track record shows a consistent disrespect towards women who who have never even subscribed to it. More and more black men are looking for an out from being accountable for their gross mistreatment of black women, and more black women are giving it to them by cosigning their foolishness.

While I understand the hatred, the reasons being given for it are oft times wrong and outright lies. You're not disrespecting women because you think they're Feminists or because they wore a pair of shorts you felt could have been longer. You're doing it because you haven't been challenged enough to be respectful. No one really showed you how to respect women. You fell in line with a society that makes disrespecting women, particular those who are black, a sport. Instead of changing for the better, you'd rather look to us for the reasons why we MAKE you disrespect us. A woman doesn't incite you to disrespect by simply posing on a sink, taking pics in her fitness gear or undies. The disrespect was already in you. Respectability is shown from the inside out and no one brings out of you that which isn't lying dormant in you. Some of your mothers don't even realize that they seriously dropped the ball in teaching you how to respect a woman. They blamed all the women you were with, for being with you. Some of your fathers couldn't teach you how to respect a woman because they suffer from the same misguided lesson on manhood that society instilled in you.

So the next time you disrespect a woman, a black women, know and understand that the reason lies in YOU! It has nothing to do with her. She doesn't know you. She didn't have you in mind when she got up and got dressed. She's not responsible for all the other women who may have rejected you throughout the years. She's not responsible for the mother who was abusive to you, who disregarded you, and/or allowed you to be abused by men she failed to carefully vet. Some of you make the mistake of running to religion which helps to further fuel your dogmatic treatment of women, when what you so desperately need is therapy from a licensed professional. You flock to online, overnight sensation, Microwave Yogis when what you need is someone who is less driven by the "like" button on a Facebook Page and a boost in popularity, and who is more skilled at handling troubled men and women. You allow men on social media, who are just as damaged as you, to lead you to the slaughter of your self esteem, and possibly the slaughtering of innocent and unsuspecting black women and children.

The choice to change is yours and as adult men, you must know that your refusal to change is NOT the fault of black women you casually come across, that you could very well avoid if that's what you really wanted to do.

Experienced Women and Intuition Are a Woman's Greatest Protection

Women need to figure out what it is they want from a man. Do you want momentary sex, do you want a consistent sexual partner in an effort to keep your numbers low, or do you want it all. I'm talking marriage, children, things of that nature. How you maneuver with your suitors is what's going to determine whether or not you at least get on the path to what it is you're looking for. No man worth taking seriously is gonna be discussing marriage with you and living plans before having met you, living just a few short hours away, and in Facebook chat boxes. Allow me to help.

YES! A man will spend money coming to see you and JUST want you for sex.

YES! A man will spend money just to bring you to him JUST to have sex.

YES! A man will feign interest in marriage, buy flowers and pay for hotel rooms, while referring to you as his wife and JUST want sex.

All of the above mentioned are very cheap actions that don't cost much. I was rather close with a brother from Texas who flew all the way to California to attend a popular sister on Facebook's court hearing, fucked her, only to return right back to Texas to his woman of 20+ years, wife of 12+ years, mother of his only son, and go on and on , on Facebook about how much he loved her, how much she meant to him, and how she's always been by his side through his many flaws. Mind you, he introduced this other woman that he only knew from Facebook to his mother and everything. He even told me that he was gonna make her his wife and he was so excited. He was excited by how much they had in common. She allowed him to teach her, not to mention she had learned a great deal prior to him. What I didn't know at the time is that he was lying about having legally separated from his wife and started the divorce proceedings.

Can you imagine how heartbroken this woman had to be? This was an actively married man who told her one thing, lived another, and all while they showed public displays of affection via poetry on each other's Facebook walls and even he turned out to be completely filled with the shit of several different animals. But she was no better. Why the hell are you on Facebook campaigning against Beyonce and referring to her as the Queen of Whoredom, preaching black man, woman and child, and going so far as to get close to the mother of a man who hasn't at least shown you proof that he's actively going through with a divorce? This isn't the only Microwave Facebook Yogi this sister has fallen for and she continues to get played by even more popular men. Mind you, she lectures across country and is one of Facebook's top debaters. But apparently, much more work on self is needed.

My point is that even the seemingly brightest among us are growing weaker due to extreme loneliness, wanting the beautiful relationships that others seem to have, and just feeling incomplete. Women with children who lack active fathers are exceptionally vulnerable. They want what appears to be an ideal family setup. I've been there and I'm so glad that I got to experience a big beautiful wedding, children, and the experience that came with it all. Because I got marriage and divorce out of my system, I don't mind taking my time this go round. I was in a rush, trying to get away from one statistic and ran smack dab into another. I sympathize and empathize because I've been there. The thing is, I don't wanna see YOU go there if you don't have to. But the truth is, you may very well need those Looney Tune, Cartoon style lumps on your head in order to get the point.

Sending love, light and healing to black women who really just want to do what they've been taught is right. They mean no harm, WE MEAN NO HARM, and there is no crime in wanting to be loved by men who appear to be on the same page as us or at least willing to look in the same direction.
As women, we have to cover down on one another. But as women, we also have to ALLOW women to cover down on us. Experienced women are our greatest allies. These are our strongest and most important allies. We have to allow them to speak freely and forewarn us when necessary.

I strive to be my sister's keeper at all times. Even if I miss the mark, my intentions are always A-1.

‪#‎WomenCentered‬

Mental Illness and the Social Media Spotlight

So you’re friends with someone on Facebook. At some point, you realize that something simply isn’t right with this person. It may have been a phone conversation where they dumped all of their childhood trauma in your lap. It could have been numerous inbox conversations where all a person had for you were numerous sob stories with what seemed to be no end. Perhaps it was you catching them being exceptionally messy and somehow involving you. Regardless to the reason, you knew that this person wasn’t someone that you saw yourself building a relationship with, even it if was just Facebook. The problem is this person’s misunderstanding of social media and how it works.

Rule no.1 Facebook Friend doesn’t mean real life friend.

Rule no.2 A person has every right to delete and or block you, without warning, and at any given time.

Rule no.3 No one you come across on Facebook is responsible for whatever mental health issues you suffer from outside of here.

Rule no.4 IT’S JUST FACEBOOK!

A misunderstanding of this has some people bypassing what could be an awesome Facebook experience, for their own little insane asylum that they want the rest of us to keep them company in.

When you delete someone on Facebook, it would be nice if it just ended there, right? Well, there are those who take your deleting them quite personal. You remind them of all the people who jump ship because they have first hand experience of their mental illness and the backlash that comes attached with being connected to them. In their minds, you’re a representation of the broken relationships that left them bitter. So now, you’re gonna feel it. These people stalk and follow you years after your decision to part ways, from harassing you on the pages of mutual friends, to even stooping to following you to other social media outlets. It’s confusing as hell because at the same time, these people have convinced themselves that it’s you who is stuck on them. They’ll share posts from your page, tag you in nasty diatribes, and do everything short of standing on their heads and doing a fan dance in order to gain your attention. A mere acknowledgement of them, from you, would make their day. If you take the bait and respond, they’ll use that as fuel to say that it is you who are interested in them. What’s even more unbelievable is that these people are several decades old. These people either can’t afford the help that they need or are in denial about needing it, and you, by way of social media, becomes their only outlet. You are a representation of any and everyone who ever hurt them. You were their very best friend in their heads. they wanted to be like you, according to them. They wanted to think like you, live like you, even one day work for you. But once you pushed that button, you morphed into a human walking, talking boil that resides on their very existence and all you ever did was exercise your right to no longer be connected to them.

Let this be a lesson to many of us. Pay close attention to those who go on public rampages about people who deleted them, especially if they were once singing these people’s praises. Typically, you’ll find that these people are very dishonest and never really have a valid reason for disliking the person other than said person decided to cut them off. How do you have that much of a problem with someone you never had a solid relationship with? Social media has provided wings for every diagnosed to no diagnose having individual who wants to strut their crazy stuff all about the townspeople. We are in a time where everyone is on candid camera and lights are everywhere. People will grow envious of you for being liked by so many, when they can’t even seem to get a like on one of the many erratic posts that you’ll find them spamming their own pages with. While people such as this may be entertaining to some of you, it’s really not funny. These are oft times unfulfilled, unsatisfied, and unloved people who hate you for being just the opposite. So many come to Facebook hoping to get the love they can’t seem to manage in real life and when that doesn’t happen, they turn rabid.

Just be mindful of the people you confide in and allow to confide in you. Some people are way beyond any help that any of us could offer them.

Black Male Supremacy and Smiling Mammies

Black women who talk about black women having more advantages than black men, who talk about the black man being the most abused being on the planet, have simply become accustom to their own pain and suffering. They have willingly cast themselves as the Smiling Mammy Archetype. The pain and heartbreak that they suffer at the hands of their sons, their fathers, their uncles, their brothers and their mates has become second nature. Many don't realize that their pain and suffering is hidden beneath news articles and an abundance of concern for black men. Tens of thousands of them missing and abused, yet their dead carcasses lay buried beneath their desperation for black male validation as they trample over other women and issues surrounding us, just so they can perform and rehearse for men. More and more, you'll see these modern day mammies surfacing with their message of "support, coddle, and protect the black male image." They construct posts and videos talking about how much better the black woman has it than the black man and how we need to unite with more of them. Well, it's kind of hard to unite with people who have abandoned you and you children, called you bitches and hoes continuously, beat the hell out of and disregard you consistently. You can only get me to believe that they're doing this because of white men for so long before I begin to call "BULLSHIT!"So you mean to tell me that black men can use the white man as an excuse for his mistreatment of black women, yet black women can't use his mistreatment of them as a reason for not breaking their necks to support them? You mammies are sicker and more confused than I thought? How are you making posts and videos geared toward me, when only men show up to sing your praises?

Black women have laundry lists of things to do when it comes to keeping the black man from feeling like a woman.

Suck his penis regularly.
Take on the worst and turn him into the best.
Feed him before your children so that he'll feel appreciated.
Give him the biggest piece of chicken so that he'll feel like a man.
Listen to his problems.
Massage his nuts.
Never call the police on him even if he deserves it.
Take responsibility for any and all of his bad behavior.
Remember, Dwight Man made him do it so give him passes.

Within lists such as these, what you will never see is any room for the development of a healthy mental state or happiness for black women. After all our chores are complete, a protective and respectful black man who is ready to marry us and be responsible for his children is supposed to magically appear. Yeah, tell that to all the supportive black women who have actually carried black men in almost the same fashion as the mothers who birthed them did, who were later beaten, murdered, robbed, betrayed, cheated on, and straight up abandoned. Tell every good cooking church or Mosque woman still without a man that all they need to know how to do is cook, clean, and support in order to secure a GOOD man. I'm telling you that black women are and have been under attack by the very same men who are supposed to be in the same struggle. Black men are not void of support from black women. That's complete and absolute bullshit. There's a mammy around every corner. Just take a look at all these babies and the women we can't believe reproduced with these fools. Some of us are those women that people can't believe reproduced with these fools. To take on a man with little to absolutely nothing, endure his bullshit, and still defend his honor although he really has none is about as supportive as it gets. All the women who refuse to press charges in order to protect these fools, who move niggas in with their mothers, who move niggas into their homes, who accept children made via infidelity, who pick up extra hours because he lost his job, who stand up in court on behalf of sons they know ain't shit.

The black woman has supported herself into an early grave, into the the crazy house, and into major DEBT! The real question is, WHERE'S THE RECIPROCITY????????? Oh, that's right. we can't expect that because we chose them. Oh, and because we have the advantage of the largest welfare payouts because although black men are on welfare as well, because many of us are left as custodial parents, we get the largest food stamp grants. Yeah, what an advantage. You smiling mammies are something else. As I've said before, the black women and child have no allies, not even other black women. By the way, any black woman looking for any viable means of support and understanding within the Pro Black Movement had may as well load her own gun and kill herself. Not only do the men not give a fuck, but they're training women to be male identified, masculine attack dogs who don't give a fuck about you/us either.

Just a bit of FYI.

Hindsight and the Self Accusing Spirit of Men

One of the reasons I come across as so cut throat in my approach when it comes to women and their interaction with men and men's reaction to that interaction is quite simple. Hindsight is truly something else. People refer to me as bitter because of how I speak of men. However, Dr. Khalid and Dear Brother Malcolm were/hailed as heroes. There's nothing like awakening, looking back and wishing you had the sense you have now. There's nothing like wishing you had said "No" more often, loved yourself harder and took more time considering your partners. You experience everything from rage to relief. 

See, I see these dudes on here and I see straight through them. I see their self accusing spirits bleeding through their harsh commentary. I'm talking about men who want to silence women like me because they don't want their covers blown. These are men who will talk about welfare destroying the black family while on welfare or selling their woman's foodstamps in order to get by. These are dudes who refer to the black woman as God, only to try and fuck God, frivolously and for free. These are men who leave God raising their children alone. You're a strong black woman because you don't break after being walked, stood and stepped on. But you're a bitch the moment you rebuke their bullshit and call them on their madness, even if you're not talking to them.

So don't call me bitter. I mean, you can and I can't stop you, nor will I try. I'm probably bitter to you because your reflection is difficult to swallow. Some of the most potent, yet effective herbs on the planet are also the most unbearable and bitter to the tastebuds. In that case, lean back and take this medicine. But I'm better than I've ever been now that I see all the places where I went wrong and numb. I'm better than I've ever been and I plan on sprinkling dust over the spirit of every woman who is blinded by a distraction mistaken as love. Love doesn't set you back. If anything, it should push you further in the direction of prosperity. 

Love vs Distraction. Figure out which one you're involved in before you end up years behind in development 

The Importance of Meeting the Standards You Set for Others

I've turned down physically, mentally, and emotionally beautiful men who made 6 figures, for a man who couldn't and still can't make it out of his mother's basement. I did so because at the time, I thought the world of him and nothing of myself. I thought he was too good for me based on how well versed he was in other people's knowledge. By the time well made, primestock men had presented themselves to me, I was too physically and emotionally entangled in a love affair with bottom stock to even properly receive them. At the time, I was fresh out of a relationship with a college educated, overweight underacheiver, physically and emotionally impaired, engulfed in pain and would have been much better off single and free from distractions. Instead, I did just the opposite and ran directly into someone suffering just as bad as me. 

I know what it's like to make a bad choice in a mate simply because they fill a void that you can't seem to. I know what it's like to fall for the bullshit notion that you can turn a bum into a well made man. The problem is that some of us haven't become made women, but we allow society to dupe us into thinking that we have the tools to make someone else. Some of us have attempted to become mother figures to men who have already been ruined by absent minded mothers and absentee fathers and vice versatile.

One of the reasons women are catching hell when it comes to accountability is because we had too much responsibility put on us in the first place and by people who make up and add onto gender roles as they see fit and based on their own personal desires. We carry the children, are told that we are the first teachers of those children, that our tongues are the sharpest, our words cut the deepest, and that a man's behavior is based on our presentation. Once we believe these things, we begin to act on them. So many of us have been taught that settling is the road to relationship security. But when settling blows up in our face, those same people blame us for not choosing better. 

I'm simply saying that oft times, we tend to choose partners based on where we are in our development. My ex's tell me everything I thought and felt about myself at that time. I admire women who know their worth and hold out for what they know they deserve. They know the beauty of trading time with someone who compliments their investments. I'm trading  my normal slop bucket taste for prime rib, and all by becoming caviar.

The idea is to meet or exceed whatever standards you set for your potential mate, at least that's my intention.