There's nothing wrong with black women who want to figure out how they can better relate to black men. There's nothing wrong with black women who want to better understand how to manage interactions with black men. There is nothing wrong with black women stating that they are only making themselves available ONLY to black men. There really is nothing wrong with these things. In the meantime, what black women don't have to do is cater to or beg for respect from black men who are hell bent on disrespecting them/us. What black women don't have to do is sit online, day in and day out attempting to teach ill behaved black men who lack home training how to speak to us. What we don't have to do is play into the "pick me" traps that black men constantly lay for black women. What we don't have to do is sit back and watch as black men justify disrespecting black women based on whether or not we're dressed in a particular manner or refer to ourselves as feminists. I've seen black men say that they are justified in disrespecting black women who adhere to the feminist movement, yet their track record shows a consistent disrespect towards women who who have never even subscribed to it. More and more black men are looking for an out from being accountable for their gross mistreatment of black women, and more black women are giving it to them by cosigning their foolishness.
While I understand the hatred, the reasons being given for it are oft times wrong and outright lies. You're not disrespecting women because you think they're Feminists or because they wore a pair of shorts you felt could have been longer. You're doing it because you haven't been challenged enough to be respectful. No one really showed you how to respect women. You fell in line with a society that makes disrespecting women, particular those who are black, a sport. Instead of changing for the better, you'd rather look to us for the reasons why we MAKE you disrespect us. A woman doesn't incite you to disrespect by simply posing on a sink, taking pics in her fitness gear or undies. The disrespect was already in you. Respectability is shown from the inside out and no one brings out of you that which isn't lying dormant in you. Some of your mothers don't even realize that they seriously dropped the ball in teaching you how to respect a woman. They blamed all the women you were with, for being with you. Some of your fathers couldn't teach you how to respect a woman because they suffer from the same misguided lesson on manhood that society instilled in you.
So the next time you disrespect a woman, a black women, know and understand that the reason lies in YOU! It has nothing to do with her. She doesn't know you. She didn't have you in mind when she got up and got dressed. She's not responsible for all the other women who may have rejected you throughout the years. She's not responsible for the mother who was abusive to you, who disregarded you, and/or allowed you to be abused by men she failed to carefully vet. Some of you make the mistake of running to religion which helps to further fuel your dogmatic treatment of women, when what you so desperately need is therapy from a licensed professional. You flock to online, overnight sensation, Microwave Yogis when what you need is someone who is less driven by the "like" button on a Facebook Page and a boost in popularity, and who is more skilled at handling troubled men and women. You allow men on social media, who are just as damaged as you, to lead you to the slaughter of your self esteem, and possibly the slaughtering of innocent and unsuspecting black women and children.
The choice to change is yours and as adult men, you must know that your refusal to change is NOT the fault of black women you casually come across, that you could very well avoid if that's what you really wanted to do.
