Polygamy: Nation Building or a Disaster Just Waiting to Happen?

There is a family structure taking the Black Community in America by storm. Polygamy is becoming as popular and common as said monogamous relationships. Both Men and Women are partaking in the reawakening of this ancient practice (polygyny, polyandry). But is it beneficial or detrimental? Some use it as their answer to Nation Building, and restoration of the Black Family. Others for the fulfillment of personal, sexual desires. There are many who will argue that it is the answer to the ailing Black Family Structure while others see it as justified infidelity. While scriptures such as The Holy Bible as well as The Holy Qu'ran support such lifestyles for male parties, it is NOT without stipulations and requirements. For example, the husband is to administer equal treatment upon all wives and shall not acquire more than one if he's not able to do so. Many argue that it is difficult to treat multiple mates as equals being that one's desire will always tend to lean to one, more so than the other/s. But what is meant by equality? Is one's personal feelings taken into account, or does this equality speak to material possessions such as ones living quarters, property, and personal belongings? Is one required to love equally or simply provide for equally?

Another major concern as it pertains to this lifestyle is the patriarch or matriarchs choice in mates. There are countless reports of unhappy polygamous situations. Why, you ask? Well in my opinion, it stems from those who are more interested in the fulfillment of personal desires rather than the fulfillment of a functioning family. Did you take into account the personalities of these men/women, their wants, their needs, their goals, also taking into account whether or not they coincide with the wife or wives, husband or husbands already in place? Did you choose these men/women based on what they offered to the union already in place, or did you choose these men/women based on what they had to offer you, and you alone? When dealing in polygamous situations, all parties must be taken into consideration. Will this be a mixture of oil and vinegar, or baking soda and vinegar? How will the children (if any) get along? Do these men/women even care for each other? The root of the problems surrounding polygamy is selfishness. I want, so I get, regardless to the feelings of all others involved. If you're basing your foundation for polygamy on who gives you a physical rise, then you are surely asking for trouble.

So what is the basis for a successful polygamous relationship? It's very simple, LOVE! Love has to be at the forefront of any successful relationship. I'm not speaking of love in a fairytale or made for TV romance sense. While that plays a part, that can't be the primary focus. There has to be a love of family in it's entirety for with that love will also bring about consideration. How do these men or women feel about the idea of rearing each others children i.e nursing (breastfeeding), schooling, and being responsible for them in the event that one shall pass on before the children reach adulthood? If the sole focus of this particular form of relationship is carnal, there will be discomfort and ultimately there will be problems that arise. Also, business and the obtaining of resources. I don't understand families with multiple partners and children who are barely capable of functioning. Everyone should bring something to the table that stands to help the family flourish in terms of economics.

In summation, before one strives toward the lifestyle of Polygamy they should be well aware of the pros and cons and familiarize themselves with the means by which to bring about balance. Also, before any of us enter any relationship, there should be a period of self study. This is done only through patience. It takes patience to prepare oneself for the entering of a union with another, then even more patience to be alone while doing so. While there may very well be instances where you just want someone to love and hold, if the preparation time is properly spent beforehand, it may just ensure the longevity of your union.

The Rebirth of The Gangsta Bitch Within the Conscious Community

Peace Family. After witnessing the demeanor of the alleged warrior women in the community, I feel compelled to address what appears to be a growing problem. There are a great deal of imbalances that plague the Black Community due to our rearing in this society. The immersion of the "Gangsta Queen" has arisen and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon. There are those who misconstrue being a warrior or soldier with being a complete savage. We've become aggressive in our dialogue and our actions which tend to spill over into our family dealings. There are countless numbers of Men who speak of being belittled, and bullied by their women. Children are also reaping the reprecussions of this imbalanced female persona. After witnessing numerous encounters between mother and child, I've seen mothers address their children with bass filled tones followed by aggressive physical interaction. Women have mistaken strength with brute force that is displayed in foul aggressive language and in the most severe cases, physical altercations.

So what fuels this Gangsta Bitch Mentality? Well it's simple, acceptance. This behavior is now being celebrated as an attractive quality. I've witnessed Males fueling this behavior by way of accolaides and praise. These same Males complain once the Gangsta Bitch rears it's aggressive head toward them. Now that they've become the target of this abusive, imbalanced woman it's an issue. How about the youth? Have you ever taken into consideration what how this roughhouse persona afflicts our children? What are we teaching our daughters about womanhood while behaving contrary to it? What are we leaving our sons to expect from women as they develop an interest in them? Being that most women are highly protective of their Sons, how will you react to him showing up on your doorstep with an attitudinal woman who strongly resembles YOU?

How do we cure this imbalance of the Woman? Conscious effort is the key to the cure. Many of our interactions are unconscious, automated,and routine. We don't recognize this behavior because it's become the norm. Those of us who have overcome the attack of the gangsta bitch have a duty to keep our Sisters mindful of themselves as opposed to supporting them in this madness. We must strive to embody the feminine principle by first recognizing what it is. We must also come into a correct understanding of what strength is. There's strength in rearing children who are self sufficient, intelligent and properly nourished. There's strength in birthing our babies without the use of harmful medications. There's strength in being consistent, in being serious, and in being assertive all while being respectful, humble, and upright. There's strength in having self control and mastering the elements (desires). The weakest thing we can do is behave contrary to our natural, original self succumbing to societal influences and circumstances. I'm able to identify the problem and the cure because I've served time on both sides of the spectrum. Experience has been my greatest teacher. Once I was able to recognize the problem, I was able to create and implement the solution.

Peace and Evolution Family

Is The Single Black Mother The Modern Face of The Madonna and Child

The Single Mother has become the new face of the Black Family. There was a time when the idea of not having a Father in the home was viewed as devastating, shameful, and down right frowned upon. However in the last 20 to 30 years, it comes as no surprise; in fact, it's expected. There have been countless round-table debates and Barbershop discussions as to the capability of Women effectively raising Male Children, providing them with much needed balance and the skills to function in society as Men. Many will argue that a Father is absolutely needed primarily in the male child's formative years. Others stand on the notion that as long as there are examples of self sufficient men available, balance will not be an issue. So is the issue Fathers in the home, or upstanding examples of Male Productivity? Does the Single Black Mother represent the demise of the Black Family, or simply a rearranging of priorities? Can this new face of the Black Family be rectified? If so, how?