The Importance of Meeting the Standards You Set for Others

I've turned down physically, mentally, and emotionally beautiful men who made 6 figures, for a man who couldn't and still can't make it out of his mother's basement. I did so because at the time, I thought the world of him and nothing of myself. I thought he was too good for me based on how well versed he was in other people's knowledge. By the time well made, primestock men had presented themselves to me, I was too physically and emotionally entangled in a love affair with bottom stock to even properly receive them. At the time, I was fresh out of a relationship with a college educated, overweight underacheiver, physically and emotionally impaired, engulfed in pain and would have been much better off single and free from distractions. Instead, I did just the opposite and ran directly into someone suffering just as bad as me. 

I know what it's like to make a bad choice in a mate simply because they fill a void that you can't seem to. I know what it's like to fall for the bullshit notion that you can turn a bum into a well made man. The problem is that some of us haven't become made women, but we allow society to dupe us into thinking that we have the tools to make someone else. Some of us have attempted to become mother figures to men who have already been ruined by absent minded mothers and absentee fathers and vice versatile.

One of the reasons women are catching hell when it comes to accountability is because we had too much responsibility put on us in the first place and by people who make up and add onto gender roles as they see fit and based on their own personal desires. We carry the children, are told that we are the first teachers of those children, that our tongues are the sharpest, our words cut the deepest, and that a man's behavior is based on our presentation. Once we believe these things, we begin to act on them. So many of us have been taught that settling is the road to relationship security. But when settling blows up in our face, those same people blame us for not choosing better. 

I'm simply saying that oft times, we tend to choose partners based on where we are in our development. My ex's tell me everything I thought and felt about myself at that time. I admire women who know their worth and hold out for what they know they deserve. They know the beauty of trading time with someone who compliments their investments. I'm trading  my normal slop bucket taste for prime rib, and all by becoming caviar.

The idea is to meet or exceed whatever standards you set for your potential mate, at least that's my intention.