The Relationship Expert Penis Hustle

 I'm seeing a wave of women who are self proclaimed relationship experts. These women have advice by the boatload, wisdom for days, and knowledge of all things marital bliss. There's just one problem. THEY CAN'T SEEM TO MAINTAIN A FUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIP TO SAVE THEIR ASS! I've never seen so many serial divorcees, single mothers, and women with revolving doors of husbandry with such picture perfect advice. Well, surely if you can teach the rest of us how to keep a man, you can manage to hold onto one yourself and beyond the honeymoon stage, right? WRONG! These women know their track records just like we know them because with each and every love interest, comes numerous status updates about how wonderful their man is, then comes the statuses about how wonderful the next man is and the man after that and that trail of men just keeps on growing from the tails of their alleged virtuous skirts. So either there's something gravely wrong with them, or they've been lying about these wonderful men all along. How is it that men you were once writing poetry for, posting videos of love songs on behalf of and playing footsies with on Facebook and Instagram are now disappearing from your life? Not you, sister compassionate, sister submissive, and sister supportive. Surely, no man wants to leave you with your soft tones and fabulously prepared meals. I mean, is he out of his mind for leaving such an amazing woman, or are you simply filled with the shit of several different animals?

See, these women prey on gullible men who are desperate for the online validation of strangers because they don't get that from the people who know what they're truly about in real life. They make a living out of stroking men's egos, men who wouldn't give them the time of day in real life. What you'll find is that many of these women suffer from a gross degree of low self esteem and because they know that these guys are sitting around like Humane Society pups just waiting to be shown some love and admiration, they take that knowledge and run with it. They go tossing treats and petting heads and penis pandering all the days long with the hopes of scoring the sausage and hopefully, yet another marriage. As long as they manage to keep themselves married, regardless to the fact that it doesn't last beyond the honeymoon stage, they can sit upon their pedestals looking down at all the other single, unmarried and divorced mothers. It truly is sad to watch. You've got a bunch of men parading these women through the streets of Facebook in their dented and rusted chariots that are sitting upon spinners asking, "What planet did you come from and are there anymore women like you?" These women have never had it so good. All these men who love them...ONLINE, yet wouldn't give the the real time of day elsewhere.

You have to wonder about the man or woman who constantly shows their love and admiration, asks what's for dinner, and talks about what they had for breakfast among each other and online for the rest of us to see, as if they don't live in the same household or have each others' numbers. It's all apart of the over compensation that comes with fronting about your love online. Perhaps if some of these women spent more time pandering the penises of the men they married rather than random men on Facebook, they's be able to make one of these marriages last.

The best advice is that which is first, taken.