The Black Male Collective and Fake Concern Over Missing Women and Girls

Dear Black Women,

Stop jumping up and parroting everything you get from men who simply don't know and don't want to know any better, as it pertains to feminism. We get it. Some of you aren't down with Feminism because the boys won't like you if you are. But all that talk about Feminists being quiet on the issue of black girls missing in DC is complete and utter BULLSHIT! You're gonna look over all these Black Feminists who have been vocal for all these years, just to say you can't find any white ones who are talking on behalf of missing black women and children?

ARE YOU INSANE???????????

As much as I love my fellow black women, I must admit that I cringe at the sewage that runs from some of your ill informed, partially educated souls. Must you take any and every opportunity to allow men to make fools of you?

Us Feminists have been speaking out against the murder of black women and girls, the rape of black women and girls, the missing black women and girls for years. You remember. It was back when you were screaming that "Not all men" shit you love to use for the sake of deflection. Remember when we going on and on about the abuse of women, and you were telling us that it was just the men we were choosing? Remember back when we were writing articles, blogs, and even appearing on and conducting radio shows addressing the injustices against black women, and you kept wanting to talk about how single we were, and that we were just bitter that we weren't getting laid?

WE'VE BEEN ADDRESSING CRIMES AGAINST BLACK WOMEN AND CHILDREN AT THE HANDS OF BLACK MEN AND THE ALLOWANCE OF BLACK WOMEN FOR MANY, MANY YEARS!

But some of you were too busy dick pandering to give a damn. and the men? The men were and are still too afraid to deal with and confront the type of men foul enough to sell children into sex trafficking rings so what do they do? They use their platforms to attack Feminists, once again. Here you are, once again, arguing with women because you're too afraid to address the men. You've got masterbatory scholars such as Dr. Moist Watkins and his crew of Wet Wipe Soldiers who wanna talk about the voice of feminism. Mind you, they've never really been interested in the voices of feminists, black or white. In fact, very rarely are they interested in women who don't back, support, and hand over their backbones for the sake of pushing and promoting their interests and causes.

So begone with your fake concern about missing black girls. Some of you are nothing more than ambulance chasing Facebook Bloggers who will stop at nothing to grow your fan base. Many of you don't lend much concern beyond the women within your immediate families or reach. Now all of a sudden, you want us to believe that you're genuinely concerned about women and girls who have been missing for years? Yeah, I don't buy all this low fat, low calorie, out of the blue solidarity. If the solidarity were real, these wicked men among us would think long, hard and even possibly reconsider ever touching us in the first place.

So you can run along and go back to your regularly scheduled, "Not All Men" and "You women just need to choose better" programs.

Black Men and Their Allergic Reaction to Accountability

There's nothing wrong with black women who want to figure out how they can better relate to black men. There's nothing wrong with black women who want to better understand how to manage interactions with black men. There is nothing wrong with black women stating that they are only making themselves available ONLY to black men. There really is nothing wrong with these things. In the meantime, what black women don't have to do is cater to or beg for respect from black men who are hell bent on disrespecting them/us. What black women don't have to do is sit online, day in and day out attempting to teach ill behaved black men who lack home training how to speak to us. What we don't have to do is play into the "pick me" traps that black men constantly lay for black women. What we don't have to do is sit back and watch as black men justify disrespecting black women based on whether or not we're dressed in a particular manner or refer to ourselves as feminists. I've seen black men say that they are justified in disrespecting black women who adhere to the feminist movement, yet their track record shows a consistent disrespect towards women who who have never even subscribed to it. More and more black men are looking for an out from being accountable for their gross mistreatment of black women, and more black women are giving it to them by cosigning their foolishness.

While I understand the hatred, the reasons being given for it are oft times wrong and outright lies. You're not disrespecting women because you think they're Feminists or because they wore a pair of shorts you felt could have been longer. You're doing it because you haven't been challenged enough to be respectful. No one really showed you how to respect women. You fell in line with a society that makes disrespecting women, particular those who are black, a sport. Instead of changing for the better, you'd rather look to us for the reasons why we MAKE you disrespect us. A woman doesn't incite you to disrespect by simply posing on a sink, taking pics in her fitness gear or undies. The disrespect was already in you. Respectability is shown from the inside out and no one brings out of you that which isn't lying dormant in you. Some of your mothers don't even realize that they seriously dropped the ball in teaching you how to respect a woman. They blamed all the women you were with, for being with you. Some of your fathers couldn't teach you how to respect a woman because they suffer from the same misguided lesson on manhood that society instilled in you.

So the next time you disrespect a woman, a black women, know and understand that the reason lies in YOU! It has nothing to do with her. She doesn't know you. She didn't have you in mind when she got up and got dressed. She's not responsible for all the other women who may have rejected you throughout the years. She's not responsible for the mother who was abusive to you, who disregarded you, and/or allowed you to be abused by men she failed to carefully vet. Some of you make the mistake of running to religion which helps to further fuel your dogmatic treatment of women, when what you so desperately need is therapy from a licensed professional. You flock to online, overnight sensation, Microwave Yogis when what you need is someone who is less driven by the "like" button on a Facebook Page and a boost in popularity, and who is more skilled at handling troubled men and women. You allow men on social media, who are just as damaged as you, to lead you to the slaughter of your self esteem, and possibly the slaughtering of innocent and unsuspecting black women and children.

The choice to change is yours and as adult men, you must know that your refusal to change is NOT the fault of black women you casually come across, that you could very well avoid if that's what you really wanted to do.

Experienced Women and Intuition Are a Woman's Greatest Protection

Women need to figure out what it is they want from a man. Do you want momentary sex, do you want a consistent sexual partner in an effort to keep your numbers low, or do you want it all. I'm talking marriage, children, things of that nature. How you maneuver with your suitors is what's going to determine whether or not you at least get on the path to what it is you're looking for. No man worth taking seriously is gonna be discussing marriage with you and living plans before having met you, living just a few short hours away, and in Facebook chat boxes. Allow me to help.

YES! A man will spend money coming to see you and JUST want you for sex.

YES! A man will spend money just to bring you to him JUST to have sex.

YES! A man will feign interest in marriage, buy flowers and pay for hotel rooms, while referring to you as his wife and JUST want sex.

All of the above mentioned are very cheap actions that don't cost much. I was rather close with a brother from Texas who flew all the way to California to attend a popular sister on Facebook's court hearing, fucked her, only to return right back to Texas to his woman of 20+ years, wife of 12+ years, mother of his only son, and go on and on , on Facebook about how much he loved her, how much she meant to him, and how she's always been by his side through his many flaws. Mind you, he introduced this other woman that he only knew from Facebook to his mother and everything. He even told me that he was gonna make her his wife and he was so excited. He was excited by how much they had in common. She allowed him to teach her, not to mention she had learned a great deal prior to him. What I didn't know at the time is that he was lying about having legally separated from his wife and started the divorce proceedings.

Can you imagine how heartbroken this woman had to be? This was an actively married man who told her one thing, lived another, and all while they showed public displays of affection via poetry on each other's Facebook walls and even he turned out to be completely filled with the shit of several different animals. But she was no better. Why the hell are you on Facebook campaigning against Beyonce and referring to her as the Queen of Whoredom, preaching black man, woman and child, and going so far as to get close to the mother of a man who hasn't at least shown you proof that he's actively going through with a divorce? This isn't the only Microwave Facebook Yogi this sister has fallen for and she continues to get played by even more popular men. Mind you, she lectures across country and is one of Facebook's top debaters. But apparently, much more work on self is needed.

My point is that even the seemingly brightest among us are growing weaker due to extreme loneliness, wanting the beautiful relationships that others seem to have, and just feeling incomplete. Women with children who lack active fathers are exceptionally vulnerable. They want what appears to be an ideal family setup. I've been there and I'm so glad that I got to experience a big beautiful wedding, children, and the experience that came with it all. Because I got marriage and divorce out of my system, I don't mind taking my time this go round. I was in a rush, trying to get away from one statistic and ran smack dab into another. I sympathize and empathize because I've been there. The thing is, I don't wanna see YOU go there if you don't have to. But the truth is, you may very well need those Looney Tune, Cartoon style lumps on your head in order to get the point.

Sending love, light and healing to black women who really just want to do what they've been taught is right. They mean no harm, WE MEAN NO HARM, and there is no crime in wanting to be loved by men who appear to be on the same page as us or at least willing to look in the same direction.
As women, we have to cover down on one another. But as women, we also have to ALLOW women to cover down on us. Experienced women are our greatest allies. These are our strongest and most important allies. We have to allow them to speak freely and forewarn us when necessary.

I strive to be my sister's keeper at all times. Even if I miss the mark, my intentions are always A-1.

‪#‎WomenCentered‬

Mental Illness and the Social Media Spotlight

So you’re friends with someone on Facebook. At some point, you realize that something simply isn’t right with this person. It may have been a phone conversation where they dumped all of their childhood trauma in your lap. It could have been numerous inbox conversations where all a person had for you were numerous sob stories with what seemed to be no end. Perhaps it was you catching them being exceptionally messy and somehow involving you. Regardless to the reason, you knew that this person wasn’t someone that you saw yourself building a relationship with, even it if was just Facebook. The problem is this person’s misunderstanding of social media and how it works.

Rule no.1 Facebook Friend doesn’t mean real life friend.

Rule no.2 A person has every right to delete and or block you, without warning, and at any given time.

Rule no.3 No one you come across on Facebook is responsible for whatever mental health issues you suffer from outside of here.

Rule no.4 IT’S JUST FACEBOOK!

A misunderstanding of this has some people bypassing what could be an awesome Facebook experience, for their own little insane asylum that they want the rest of us to keep them company in.

When you delete someone on Facebook, it would be nice if it just ended there, right? Well, there are those who take your deleting them quite personal. You remind them of all the people who jump ship because they have first hand experience of their mental illness and the backlash that comes attached with being connected to them. In their minds, you’re a representation of the broken relationships that left them bitter. So now, you’re gonna feel it. These people stalk and follow you years after your decision to part ways, from harassing you on the pages of mutual friends, to even stooping to following you to other social media outlets. It’s confusing as hell because at the same time, these people have convinced themselves that it’s you who is stuck on them. They’ll share posts from your page, tag you in nasty diatribes, and do everything short of standing on their heads and doing a fan dance in order to gain your attention. A mere acknowledgement of them, from you, would make their day. If you take the bait and respond, they’ll use that as fuel to say that it is you who are interested in them. What’s even more unbelievable is that these people are several decades old. These people either can’t afford the help that they need or are in denial about needing it, and you, by way of social media, becomes their only outlet. You are a representation of any and everyone who ever hurt them. You were their very best friend in their heads. they wanted to be like you, according to them. They wanted to think like you, live like you, even one day work for you. But once you pushed that button, you morphed into a human walking, talking boil that resides on their very existence and all you ever did was exercise your right to no longer be connected to them.

Let this be a lesson to many of us. Pay close attention to those who go on public rampages about people who deleted them, especially if they were once singing these people’s praises. Typically, you’ll find that these people are very dishonest and never really have a valid reason for disliking the person other than said person decided to cut them off. How do you have that much of a problem with someone you never had a solid relationship with? Social media has provided wings for every diagnosed to no diagnose having individual who wants to strut their crazy stuff all about the townspeople. We are in a time where everyone is on candid camera and lights are everywhere. People will grow envious of you for being liked by so many, when they can’t even seem to get a like on one of the many erratic posts that you’ll find them spamming their own pages with. While people such as this may be entertaining to some of you, it’s really not funny. These are oft times unfulfilled, unsatisfied, and unloved people who hate you for being just the opposite. So many come to Facebook hoping to get the love they can’t seem to manage in real life and when that doesn’t happen, they turn rabid.

Just be mindful of the people you confide in and allow to confide in you. Some people are way beyond any help that any of us could offer them.

Black Male Supremacy and Smiling Mammies

Black women who talk about black women having more advantages than black men, who talk about the black man being the most abused being on the planet, have simply become accustom to their own pain and suffering. They have willingly cast themselves as the Smiling Mammy Archetype. The pain and heartbreak that they suffer at the hands of their sons, their fathers, their uncles, their brothers and their mates has become second nature. Many don't realize that their pain and suffering is hidden beneath news articles and an abundance of concern for black men. Tens of thousands of them missing and abused, yet their dead carcasses lay buried beneath their desperation for black male validation as they trample over other women and issues surrounding us, just so they can perform and rehearse for men. More and more, you'll see these modern day mammies surfacing with their message of "support, coddle, and protect the black male image." They construct posts and videos talking about how much better the black woman has it than the black man and how we need to unite with more of them. Well, it's kind of hard to unite with people who have abandoned you and you children, called you bitches and hoes continuously, beat the hell out of and disregard you consistently. You can only get me to believe that they're doing this because of white men for so long before I begin to call "BULLSHIT!"So you mean to tell me that black men can use the white man as an excuse for his mistreatment of black women, yet black women can't use his mistreatment of them as a reason for not breaking their necks to support them? You mammies are sicker and more confused than I thought? How are you making posts and videos geared toward me, when only men show up to sing your praises?

Black women have laundry lists of things to do when it comes to keeping the black man from feeling like a woman.

Suck his penis regularly.
Take on the worst and turn him into the best.
Feed him before your children so that he'll feel appreciated.
Give him the biggest piece of chicken so that he'll feel like a man.
Listen to his problems.
Massage his nuts.
Never call the police on him even if he deserves it.
Take responsibility for any and all of his bad behavior.
Remember, Dwight Man made him do it so give him passes.

Within lists such as these, what you will never see is any room for the development of a healthy mental state or happiness for black women. After all our chores are complete, a protective and respectful black man who is ready to marry us and be responsible for his children is supposed to magically appear. Yeah, tell that to all the supportive black women who have actually carried black men in almost the same fashion as the mothers who birthed them did, who were later beaten, murdered, robbed, betrayed, cheated on, and straight up abandoned. Tell every good cooking church or Mosque woman still without a man that all they need to know how to do is cook, clean, and support in order to secure a GOOD man. I'm telling you that black women are and have been under attack by the very same men who are supposed to be in the same struggle. Black men are not void of support from black women. That's complete and absolute bullshit. There's a mammy around every corner. Just take a look at all these babies and the women we can't believe reproduced with these fools. Some of us are those women that people can't believe reproduced with these fools. To take on a man with little to absolutely nothing, endure his bullshit, and still defend his honor although he really has none is about as supportive as it gets. All the women who refuse to press charges in order to protect these fools, who move niggas in with their mothers, who move niggas into their homes, who accept children made via infidelity, who pick up extra hours because he lost his job, who stand up in court on behalf of sons they know ain't shit.

The black woman has supported herself into an early grave, into the the crazy house, and into major DEBT! The real question is, WHERE'S THE RECIPROCITY????????? Oh, that's right. we can't expect that because we chose them. Oh, and because we have the advantage of the largest welfare payouts because although black men are on welfare as well, because many of us are left as custodial parents, we get the largest food stamp grants. Yeah, what an advantage. You smiling mammies are something else. As I've said before, the black women and child have no allies, not even other black women. By the way, any black woman looking for any viable means of support and understanding within the Pro Black Movement had may as well load her own gun and kill herself. Not only do the men not give a fuck, but they're training women to be male identified, masculine attack dogs who don't give a fuck about you/us either.

Just a bit of FYI.

Hindsight and the Self Accusing Spirit of Men

One of the reasons I come across as so cut throat in my approach when it comes to women and their interaction with men and men's reaction to that interaction is quite simple. Hindsight is truly something else. People refer to me as bitter because of how I speak of men. However, Dr. Khalid and Dear Brother Malcolm were/hailed as heroes. There's nothing like awakening, looking back and wishing you had the sense you have now. There's nothing like wishing you had said "No" more often, loved yourself harder and took more time considering your partners. You experience everything from rage to relief. 

See, I see these dudes on here and I see straight through them. I see their self accusing spirits bleeding through their harsh commentary. I'm talking about men who want to silence women like me because they don't want their covers blown. These are men who will talk about welfare destroying the black family while on welfare or selling their woman's foodstamps in order to get by. These are dudes who refer to the black woman as God, only to try and fuck God, frivolously and for free. These are men who leave God raising their children alone. You're a strong black woman because you don't break after being walked, stood and stepped on. But you're a bitch the moment you rebuke their bullshit and call them on their madness, even if you're not talking to them.

So don't call me bitter. I mean, you can and I can't stop you, nor will I try. I'm probably bitter to you because your reflection is difficult to swallow. Some of the most potent, yet effective herbs on the planet are also the most unbearable and bitter to the tastebuds. In that case, lean back and take this medicine. But I'm better than I've ever been now that I see all the places where I went wrong and numb. I'm better than I've ever been and I plan on sprinkling dust over the spirit of every woman who is blinded by a distraction mistaken as love. Love doesn't set you back. If anything, it should push you further in the direction of prosperity. 

Love vs Distraction. Figure out which one you're involved in before you end up years behind in development 

The Importance of Meeting the Standards You Set for Others

I've turned down physically, mentally, and emotionally beautiful men who made 6 figures, for a man who couldn't and still can't make it out of his mother's basement. I did so because at the time, I thought the world of him and nothing of myself. I thought he was too good for me based on how well versed he was in other people's knowledge. By the time well made, primestock men had presented themselves to me, I was too physically and emotionally entangled in a love affair with bottom stock to even properly receive them. At the time, I was fresh out of a relationship with a college educated, overweight underacheiver, physically and emotionally impaired, engulfed in pain and would have been much better off single and free from distractions. Instead, I did just the opposite and ran directly into someone suffering just as bad as me. 

I know what it's like to make a bad choice in a mate simply because they fill a void that you can't seem to. I know what it's like to fall for the bullshit notion that you can turn a bum into a well made man. The problem is that some of us haven't become made women, but we allow society to dupe us into thinking that we have the tools to make someone else. Some of us have attempted to become mother figures to men who have already been ruined by absent minded mothers and absentee fathers and vice versatile.

One of the reasons women are catching hell when it comes to accountability is because we had too much responsibility put on us in the first place and by people who make up and add onto gender roles as they see fit and based on their own personal desires. We carry the children, are told that we are the first teachers of those children, that our tongues are the sharpest, our words cut the deepest, and that a man's behavior is based on our presentation. Once we believe these things, we begin to act on them. So many of us have been taught that settling is the road to relationship security. But when settling blows up in our face, those same people blame us for not choosing better. 

I'm simply saying that oft times, we tend to choose partners based on where we are in our development. My ex's tell me everything I thought and felt about myself at that time. I admire women who know their worth and hold out for what they know they deserve. They know the beauty of trading time with someone who compliments their investments. I'm trading  my normal slop bucket taste for prime rib, and all by becoming caviar.

The idea is to meet or exceed whatever standards you set for your potential mate, at least that's my intention.

The Niggerstock Male and His Divisive Tactics Among Black Women

Pseudo conscious niggerstock males have a penchant for creating memes using photos from the 1960's of Angela Davis and Assata Shakur in all their pro-black glory with flat chests and no asses. Also, on these memes, are pics of scantily clad black women with big bodacious booties, small waist lines and possibly big breast. These types of memes are usually created by black underbelly males who attempt to fake black women into believing they want flat chested, revolutionary women who carry guns, rebuke weave, read books and hate white people.

LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

These struggle credit and struggle dread rocking niggaboos luh dem some big booty "hoes." Are you serious? They stay on those booty model pages and many frequent strip clubs outside of social networking. They don't want gun toting, no nonsense black women. Do you really think these niggerific men want you leaving them and/or shooting them after they get rough and tough with you? The niggerlicious black male doesn't want revolutionary black women with standards. They want chicks on social media who talk revolution for the sake of garnering their attention. If and when they finally get together, all they end up doing is fucking and pretending to be in real relationships. They don't run off into the sunset and build LUCRATIVE businesses or "ungentrify" black communities. That's all for show.

Pretending to be a revolutionary online is a mating ritual for people who aren't that successful meeting people and getting attention offline. It's become a popular way of getting noticed and branding themselves on social media. People have gone onto sale everything from books to lectures just by using the revolutionary hustle as a popularity tactic.

But yeah, they're not fooling anyone with these bs respectability politics. As you can see, they can't even keep up with their own lies. On the one hand, they've got chicks standing around in "I have a Dream," red, black and green bikinis, reading pamplets while doing the splits, and taking penis from the back while pretending to promote nation building, only to flip it to fully dressed black women with their fists in the air knowing damn well that's not what they desire. Niggerlicious niggaboos are on the prowl and they come equipped with trail of defensive nigresses who will ride for and defend them. But wait until after they give him the goods or worse, have a baby by his ass. They'll be back on the "Niggas ain't shit" train, that is until they get off at the next stop which is, "Let me put my revolutionary face back on so I can find me a black king to complete my household." Yeah, they'll be back to writing corny ass poetry about the black man, woman and child with the hopes of finding the next neverlutionary niggerstock male who will eventually fuck over them just like the last and even leave them for a mutual facebook friend. I see it all the time.

But don't take my word for it. Just take a look around and tell me what you see.

Out of all the women on the planet, they could only come up with 2 kinds. Now, which one do you think the niggerlicious male really wants?

I'll wait...

Memoir of a Justifiably Angry Black Woman

For years, I've spit flames at any black man for reducing the movie The Color Purple to a man bashing fest. I know all about that movie because I lived much of it. I knew exactly what Miss Sophia meant when she said, "All my life I had to fight." I knew what Miss Sophia meant when she said, "A girl child ain't safe in a family full of men." I knew what Miss Celie went through, having been called black and ugly while being encouraged not to smile.Too many of us know that movie first hand because we lived it on some level or another. 

I understand the venom and vitriol that numerous black men come at black women with because they were also products of sorry black women who refused to protect them from ain't shit black men. Black women have allowed their husbands to run wild, ravaging their own children for the sake of receiving half on the utility bills, so she could say that her children had a father in the household. They left their sons and daughters in the care of predators and beat them in response to their cries for help. 

When I was molested by a now deceased police marshall who lived a few houses over from me, I confided in one of my older brothers. His response? Well, he told me that's what I got for taking my dumb ass in his house. Yes, I've always been naive, but I was honored and surprised that this man invited me in. People feared him, yet felt safer because he was around. Nothing could have prepared me for what would take place once inside. But I get it because my understanding of certain things has evolved. My brother, a small time dope dealer himself, wasn't prepared to go against a guy who was responsible for taking down some of Detroits most infamous drug kingpins. Therefore, he had to place the blame on me. I was the dumb ass for accepting his invitation to come inside. 

My point is, overall, numerous black women have collectively had to fight our protectors and predators. On top of that, we had to fight to continue loving the women who excused these men and in the midst of all this fighting, we have to fight for the opportunity to love someone brand new. We don't know who this person is or what they're gonna do. Sometimes, we choose what apppears to be the best among slim pickings. We don't collectively go looking for abusive bums who will abandon or deny our children altogether. We go for men who engage us with their nice, loving, good guy representatives. But to say that we don't welcome men who will treat us well based on someone we may have turned down due to a lack of interest, doesn't mean we had a lack of interest in good treatment. We may have just had a lack of interest in that particular person. Some of you complain about being in the friendzone but why are you so opposed to being a good friend and why does it upset you? 

But so many expect black women to be these miraculous beings who bounce back immediately after being knocked down repeatedly. The strong black woman accolade is no more than a backhanded compliment from people who seek to purposely stand on her back, while compensating her with praise because it didn't break. The white man nor the Willie Lynch Fairy can be used as a scapegoat when these disgraceful actions are being carried out by men who read every book except the Yellow Pages in search of a therapist that they can confide in. If Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome is what you're identifying as your barrier, then you're of sound enough mind and body to seek out a cure. I mean, all the solutions can't be on black women, can they? From "keep your legs closed" to "you shouldn't have worn, said, or done that" to "you shouldn't have taken your dumb ass in there," there's always plenty of advice to go around for us as black women. 

Now, what about you, black man? Is there any advice you'd like to take on for yourself or are we to simply understand your plight and endure the backlash while finding a way to smile while in pain? Do we need your permission to be angry?

Wives vs Mistresses

 

 

Dear Women of the Wives Club,

If by chance you catch your husband cheating, please don't go after the other women, especially if you're just gonna remind her that you take such good care of him, support him, submit to him, love him, feed him, reproduce on his behalf and take on his last name. You do realize that telling her those things don't make you look honorable. In fact, it makes you looked like an overworked fool because clearly, you're doing far too much for a man who is sloppy enough with his dealings to the point that you were able to catch him with another, primarily if it's not something you've both agreed to. All attention should be directed toward him. However, I do understand the failure to prioritize your beef. When reality strikes, logic and reason has a tendency to fly out of the window. 

 

Lots of women know the type of men that they're dealing with and because the last thing they wanna do is leave, they wanna see if they can get the mistress to refrain from being with him. Also, and this especially goes for women who have been in their relationship for lengthy periods of time, they don't wanna lose. They don't wanna feel as though they put all this work into this man, only to have the next women come in and benefit from it. Yes! The sickness is REAL! I'm not saying that you should up and leave him. What I'm saying is that some of you need to stop posting Pettysburg Addresses that shame mistresses, while you remain with the person who actually owes you everything. I'll never forget the ridiculous piece written by what appeared to be an obviously scorned woman that broke the term "other" down to the acronym, "Overused Toy He Eventually Releases." Do you see the sickness in that? The woman is the overused toy and your husband is what? I'll tell you what he is. He's the CHILD who saw that shiny, or not so shiny toy and wanted it. The last question is who or what are you? Well, you're the other woman, too. The only difference between you and her is that you may have gotten there first and/or been there the longest. Now you can refer to yourself as whatever you like. But if you're referring to yourself as anything other than a teammate, with him being the coach, you've got things twisted. It's time to either sit down with your mate and make some arrangements and come to some agreements, sit down with the woman and see if you can reason with her on some level, get rid of him altogether, or do like many women do and act like you don't see anything and keep silent. I hear lots of women talking about deserving better, but I don't see them seeking it. What they do is try to re-raise already grown men while trying to fight women who haven't made any vows to them and both options seem like far too much work.

 

It would be nice to see more displays of grown up relationships. I see far too many women with men they feel or have proof that they aren't faithful, and instead of finding someone else or developing an understanding that revolves around his particular character or personal nature, they drive themselves insane by checking phones, emails, inboxes and lightweight stalking. But you knew who these men were and they showed you time and time again. what makes you think you're going to change him or even have the right to? When the topic of polygamy is mentioned, some of these same women will talk about how nasty and disgusting it is to share a man KNOWINGLY, but what they will do is UNKNOWINGLY share men with other women because apparently, sneaking and lying is more respectable. I actually understand the mentality, just don't agree with it because I see it as downright silly. 

This isn't an attack on wives nor is it a support letter for mistresses. What I hope to do here is spark some serious conversations between adults that need to be considered without volatile outbreaks and with hopefully cleared minds. All I ask is that you consider what I've written. I see too many women at each others throats, with men at the core of the issue and the main culprit seems to be flying free without so much as a dent, while these women are left scratching at each others eyes when it could all be prevented.

Support Black Business, Abort Nigga Bidness.

No reputable business that owes you money or product would pay you back in dribbles. In fact, the most you may get is your shipments broken up in parts due to items being on back order. Unfortunately, there are those who aren't in the business of taking care of their customers. They're in the business of scamming the customer. They'll rob you, then lie and say that they were robbed. They'll do videos breaking down those lies, yet won't show you a copy of the hotel incident report from the hotel where the stuff was allegedly stolen or a police report that SHOULD have been filed. You've got ghetto, unethical heathens who appeal to black people by reminding everyone that they're black and just so happen to be in business. While I am a black woman and new business owner, that's not all I've got going. In fact, it's not even something I like declare because the idea is to promote products that live up to my claims while providing you with grade A+ customer service. People looking to appeal to you on a level that deals in something other than quality may very well be one to steer clear of.

No one is obligated to accept mediocrity from you simply because you're black. The real question is "Are you competent?" If by chance you're not, then you need to sit your black incompetent and incapable ass down somewhere and don't get back up until you learn something about proper business etiquette and ethics. Also, if you just need money to get on your feet or get you through a rough patch, just say so. I know, I know. Some of you have painted yourselves into a corner by ragging on those of us who had the courage to do so and you don't want the people you talked about knowing that you're doing worse than them so you resort to petty theft and dirty collar crime. To add insult to injury, you allow your customers to see you fucking off on Facebook and other facets of social media when you owe them money, product, or both when what you should be doing is getting your shit together so it doesn't take weeks and months for you to pay people back.

Out of almost 400 orders on and offline, I've had a total of 3 incidents and do you know what happened? Two didn't receive their packages and one received the wrong item. I was able to return their money not 2 months later and not in dribbles. I was able to refund their money right then and there because I know that you must keep a certain amount of money available for such situations. Because they appreciate good customer service and quick response times, they turned right around and placed another order. If your ass is broke, out of time and out of line, what else do you have to do other than make sure the very thing that feeds, clothes and supports you is running like a well oiled machine? See, that's the difference between Black Business and Nigga Bidness. Nigga bidness owners makes excuses. Black business owners take care of business....and we don't have to rest on the fact that we're black.

Black Business = Good
Nigga Bidness = Bad

One Sided Loyalty and the Strong Black Woman Okie Doke

You've got women, black women, who will support the most disrespectful male beasts alive. These dudes refer to you as God and Queen in one breath, only to demote you to bitch and hoe in the next. They publicly disrespect you by talking about your pussy, your choice of hair, your choice in a mate, your refusal to send naked pics, your refusal to play footsies in the chat box and give up your phone number and what does the Black Woman do? They dig deep down in their wallets and send money when they beg for it, they fund and support their failed business efforts and poor work ethic, they bail them out, they give them the first plate, they march, they protest, and when it's all over and done, they drop down to their knees followed by the dropping of their britches. Now you would think that after all of that, the least you could get was some respect, right? WRONG! Many of them don't even remember your name when you need money, when you get shot down, choked out and come up missing. You would think that after all of that, you'd at least be able to get some type of reciprocity, right? Yeah, still nothing.

Black women are going to have to break free from this Smiling Mammy Archetype that has been cast upon us. While many won't be saved, I strongly believe that the few that will stand to shake the very foundation of this black on black enslavement that has so many women spellbound. My daughter is the epitome of everything I wished I was and hope to grow to be because I've protected her from anything that stood to break her spirit or her will. She's quick to let you know that she won't be taking any of your shit, not today, and not tomorrow and she's still beautiful at heart and as sweet as pie. I grow stronger by the day simply by watching her and while she's not without her flaws, it's the very reason that she's perfectly imperfect in that regard. She's the breaking of my cycle and I'm proud of her.

But these niggas ain't loyal. These niggas ain't never been loyal. Even black men have been trying to teach this lesson to their daughters and do you know why? Because many of them know themselves, changed or not. If you're not someone you'd want your daughter to date, don't bring your ass around us. Since that's too much like right, Black Women are going to have to activate that "Niggadar" so we can see and smell them coming with their pungent and putrid asses. But yeah, their sense of loyalty isn't as strong as 1-ply toilet paper. But some black women sure do love bending over backwards just to show their support. In case no one told you, support is reciprocal, meaning something has to already be in existence for you to uphold. Now, you're talking about dudes in their 40's and 50's and my question is if they have potential, when the fuck are they gonna start using it?

But you keep standing in solidarity, only to be left standing alone when shit hits the fan and that nigga goes to his grave with the $20 he still owed you. I'll just stand back and wait for the usual "she's bitter, she's scorned, she's angry" deflections. One thing you had better know is that I'm not lying.

The Relationship Expert Penis Hustle

 I'm seeing a wave of women who are self proclaimed relationship experts. These women have advice by the boatload, wisdom for days, and knowledge of all things marital bliss. There's just one problem. THEY CAN'T SEEM TO MAINTAIN A FUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIP TO SAVE THEIR ASS! I've never seen so many serial divorcees, single mothers, and women with revolving doors of husbandry with such picture perfect advice. Well, surely if you can teach the rest of us how to keep a man, you can manage to hold onto one yourself and beyond the honeymoon stage, right? WRONG! These women know their track records just like we know them because with each and every love interest, comes numerous status updates about how wonderful their man is, then comes the statuses about how wonderful the next man is and the man after that and that trail of men just keeps on growing from the tails of their alleged virtuous skirts. So either there's something gravely wrong with them, or they've been lying about these wonderful men all along. How is it that men you were once writing poetry for, posting videos of love songs on behalf of and playing footsies with on Facebook and Instagram are now disappearing from your life? Not you, sister compassionate, sister submissive, and sister supportive. Surely, no man wants to leave you with your soft tones and fabulously prepared meals. I mean, is he out of his mind for leaving such an amazing woman, or are you simply filled with the shit of several different animals?

See, these women prey on gullible men who are desperate for the online validation of strangers because they don't get that from the people who know what they're truly about in real life. They make a living out of stroking men's egos, men who wouldn't give them the time of day in real life. What you'll find is that many of these women suffer from a gross degree of low self esteem and because they know that these guys are sitting around like Humane Society pups just waiting to be shown some love and admiration, they take that knowledge and run with it. They go tossing treats and petting heads and penis pandering all the days long with the hopes of scoring the sausage and hopefully, yet another marriage. As long as they manage to keep themselves married, regardless to the fact that it doesn't last beyond the honeymoon stage, they can sit upon their pedestals looking down at all the other single, unmarried and divorced mothers. It truly is sad to watch. You've got a bunch of men parading these women through the streets of Facebook in their dented and rusted chariots that are sitting upon spinners asking, "What planet did you come from and are there anymore women like you?" These women have never had it so good. All these men who love them...ONLINE, yet wouldn't give the the real time of day elsewhere.

You have to wonder about the man or woman who constantly shows their love and admiration, asks what's for dinner, and talks about what they had for breakfast among each other and online for the rest of us to see, as if they don't live in the same household or have each others' numbers. It's all apart of the over compensation that comes with fronting about your love online. Perhaps if some of these women spent more time pandering the penises of the men they married rather than random men on Facebook, they's be able to make one of these marriages last.

The best advice is that which is first, taken.

Submission is EXPENSIVE!

When a woman is submissive to the wrong man, it can ruin her for anyone who comes after. There's nothing like having your vulnerability exposed and exploited. There's also nothing like letting go of the steering wheel, only to have him run you up into a tree. Take a look at children. Children will run and jump off the top stair into your arms because they trust that you've got them. They don't even think about the possibility of falling. They just jump. Now, if by chance you drop that child or the child falls, that trust won't be there. I remember bathing my little cousin back when I was a little girl and the water was too hot. He stuck his foot in, rushed it out and cried a bit. Although I ran some cold water, he cried whenever I tried to put him in. the damage was already done and he didn't trust me.

The point is, some men go around begging for submission when the truth is, they're not prepared for such responsibility. All it takes is one good time for me to be dropped. After that, I step out in front not because I'm a bitch who wants to control men. It's because I have children who didn't ask to be here. I chose to bring them here. Because of that, I don't have time to gamble on a man's ability to carry us through to the finish line. Survival trumps a man's ego and no one has time to stroke him and at the possible risk of the entire family. To be honest, I still have yet to have someone explain to me what submission is. For the life of me, I can get a legible, valid breakdown. So far, examples I've been given range from upkeep of the home to preparation of meals and clothes, all things I'd do regardless, lest I stink, starve and live like livestock. Not speaking when the other person is, being respectful, being loving, and all things of the like appear to be basic, common acts of love and respect, not limited to one particular biological sex. So based on those examples, submission appears to be a one way street, not a dead end road. 

Based on my experience, the men I've seen begging for submission don't seem to realize how major the responsibility that comes attached is. You've got a great deal of work ahead of you, Sir, and you must be on point. You can't afford to drop the ball, not if a constantly agreeable woman is what you seek. Some of you who require that a woman be in total submission need her assistance to keep the home afloat. You need help with the bills and can't afford to without her financial input, yet you want her to function as a subordinate or understudy? You can't afford her the opportunity to quick her job. Then again, some of you have been known to have her quit her job and apply for welfare so you're both kinda like in submission to the government, but that's another topic. The point I'm making is that while many of you desire submission, all you can really afford is cooperation and there's nothing wrong with that. Society has taught men that it is there nature to be the boss of everything and everybody and that there is a NEED for them to be in control. You know, because apparently, men will DIE if they don't get to be in charge of everybody. Please stop teaching that men will perish and begin to wear dresses if they're not regarded as the heads of household. I would like to think that in a house with 2 functioning adults, that no one would need to be hailed as the Head of the household unless they had some other issues that needed to be worked out.

What type of King of Zamunda stuff are some of you really on? Even Prince Akeem was turned off by a complete yes woman. I also notice that men who claim to want these totally agreeable women grow bored with them. There appears to be something within human nature that requires challenges. these men will be found cheating on their sweet, submissive wives with hellcat women who talk back and aren't afraid to disagree. They begin to trample, step all over, and mistreat the very type of woman they've been trying to shape and mold. While some believe that women are running around convincing other women not to submit, you'd do best to look toward the men they've tried it with who TAUGHT them that's it's safer to have a voice and use it, along with your good sense followed by your feet and possibly your luggage. If you knew how hard it was for some women to talk their girlfriends and other loved ones out of financially, physically, emotionally and verbally abusive relationships, you'd realize just how ridiculous you look and sound trying to blame other women for keeping women from minding or obeying men. It just doesn't work that way.

Just something to ponder.

Nothing Like Family

I can recall hitting my brothers with everything from massive bricks out of the rock garden to throwing hot grease in their faces and do you know why? Because I refused to be their punching simply because they were older and male. My oldest brother jumped on me while pregnant with my 2 oldest children and while I jumped back, it was something I would have rather not dealt with. The sorry ass women in my family would always protect these animalistic males by bailing them out of jail to lying to the police once they arrived about what happened. I often felt alone and would even run away and seek refuge within other families because of reckless my family was. There really was no sanctuary for young children and women within my bloodline.

While neither of my brothers are beyond beating on women, my eldest brother beat a woman almost to death while my cousins, my mother's Sister, and her mother looked on. He did all of this while her 8 year old son looked on and screamed hysterically. He left his boot prints on her body, hit her with family size canned fruit till he split her skin, and then this 300+lb gorilla held both her hands in one of his, then proceeded to punch her unconscious with his free hand. Once he saw that she was lifeless, he then dragged her down the stairs of the front porch and once she was to the walkway, he proceeded to smack her face repeatedly in an effort to awaken her. Yeah, that's how you awaken a woman you just beat unconscious. you take your gorilla paws and slap her further into it.

Someone had the decency to call the police. He then jumped over the banister of the porch, took his shirt off alongside of the house, and ran off. When the woman's son tried to tell the police what happened, including trying to tell them about other times which included him busting the child's mouth open as he tried to help his mother, my grandmother told him to shut up, told the police he was lying and the whole 9. Needless to say, my aunt, the same aunt who had her teeth knocked out by him as well, opted not to speak up on this unconscious woman's behalf.

Once I got over the initial shock of my grandmother's death, I realized that I wanted her to die. She died a slow and horrible death, too. She would call my name each and everyday when she stayed with us. The night she died, my aunt said she kept calling my name, all the way up until she left. While I don't know how true that is, I hoped she saw my face before she took her last breath. I hope she recalled all her betrayal of women in general, the times she allowed my grandfather to beat her senselessly in front of her children, not realizing how it would damage them later on in life. My mother had a deep seated hatred for my grandmother, her mother, for not leaving him. My aunt, because she was his favored child, can't seem to recall any of the abuse. She just remembers them sleeping in the car while parked in the lot of the train station.

As a women's activist, I laugh when people talk about my hatred of men. "Oh, she must have been hurt, or dumped, and had her heart broken." Yeah, while all that sounds good, here's the real story. My initial pains all come at the hands of women. It comes at the hands of women who were supposed to love and protect me, rather than allow me to be ravaged while they stood by and said nothing. Each and every woman in my immediate family has done this. I mean from lying to the police to protecting the savage males who seem to be birthed from our family tree. I'm talking stories ranging from my uncle having shot the mother of his children and her friend right in his mother's, my grandmother's living room, to the physical assault of pregnant women, I've got a lifetime worth of horrifying tales to tell.

Well, I plan to tell those stories. I have every right to tell those stories. Far too many women are told to protect their families by keeping their mouths shut and those stories eat them from the inside out. Personally, I don't give a fuck about the a family name. I'll speak until my soul bleeds truth and my wings get lighter and I'm able to fly minus the regret of not killing these people myself. Everyday I wish I had forgiven less, stood up more and defended my own honor. I allowed people to hug me and say that they were sorry far too many times while later, doing the same thing. Today, I've got relatives who refuse to step in my presence because they know it's the equivalent to stepping on a landmine. Some smile and even pretend not to remember some of the atrocities that took place. Well, I remember. I remember it all like it were yesterday. My children can tell by the look on my face when I'm thinking about it. They'll say,"What are you thinking about and are you cussing to yourself?" Yeah, that's how I know it's time for me to get it out.

Don't remain silent for the sake of protecting anyone's image. Your mental health trumps reputation each and every time.

The Smiling Mammy Overplay for the Underlay

A typical teaching among women is how to raise men. No, not children. I'm talking grown, adult males. Of course, the flip side of this teaching is the fact that women can't and are not to attempt to raise male children. A male child's formative years should only be lightly grazed by a woman. She should never be found as the primary caretaker of a boy child because it likens his chances of growing up to develop a desire for penis, hairy chests and asses, women's clothing, gossip, Tyler Perry Movies and all things that apparently black women love to do. You know, because it doesn't really have to make sense as long as you can get a bunch of ignorant and uneducated people who suffer from mass cognitive dissonance to agree with it. Mass stupidity has a tendency to spread like wildfire.

So with all of the above mentioned, how is it that many of these same beings are teaching that women are to better adult males? You mean to tell me that I am incapable of raising a child into a functioning man, but can somehow manage to turn a box maker into an English Furniture Carver? Of course a layman would try to convince a woman that she could somehow morph him into a the CEO of the next Fortune 500 Company. It's all apart of the game. You teach women to settle so that you're capable of getting one. Even women are and have been teaching this madness and based on their own desperate experiences. Many of them are with the same box builders they started out with and do you know why? Because you can't raise a grown man. You can't do the job that some absent minded mother and/or absentee father may have failed to. Furthermore, you can't reconstruct his will nor his DNA. Successful men are oft times "Self Made." I'm not saying that they are built sans external input. No man or woman is an island and there's not a living organism on the planet that's independent. What I'm saying is, these men have a degree of ambition that with or without you, they're going to be something because they want to be. The way many of you speak, you would think that a single man was incapable of making something of himself.

What good is it to teach that men are to be heads of the household while in the next breath, teaching that men are to depend on women for their development? When a man is found behaving poorly, you look to his mother and this is the case even if the father is involved. They deem women the first teacher, but hold us responsible as if we're to be the ONLY teacher. If you find women who are acting as the first teachers, it's because the men have fallen off tremendously. Even while in the womb, the father can familiarize himself with his unborn child to where that child will recognize his voice once here. Once that child is birthed, it is the responsibility of all who agreed to be responsible to teach that child and at the same damn time. Some of you use this "woman is the first teacher" and "75% of the work is with the woman" mantra as cop outs and and scapegoats to relieve yourselves from daddy duty. If 75% of the work is with women, leaving men with a lagging 25%, then that means it takes more than one of you to make half a man. We haven't even scratched the surface of the whole.

When a man is found cheating, you blame women who made themselves available. You say things like, "A man will only do what a woman allows." I would think that a man's duty was to measure, to calculate and see if a thing were worth doing. But what natural head chief of staff of the household just does whatever is available, because it's available? Crack, Heroin, and sheep are available, too. Do you do them simply because they're available? Such a mindset doesn't seem capable of being in charge of self, let along an entire household containing other human beings. But the way many of you speak of men, you would think that they were mindless penises that blow whichever way the wind does. Feminist, such as myself, attempt to hold men to a higher standard because many of us believe that you should be functioning at a much higher standard. We don't believe that a woman's outfit, sexual offerings, or anything of the likes is enough for you to be given a pass to bypass respect, responsibility, manners, and common courtesy. Many of you don't have to really be men because women have been made to be your alpha and omega, your crutch and your cast, but only when you've done something wrong. When it's time to receive rewards, women are expected to be silent and support you in all YOUR endeavors. God gets the first shout out, then your real mama, and then comes you. But when it's time to place blame for the murder rate, infidelity, poverty, the divorce, the gay community, the prison rates and the list goes on, Mama will always be there to carry the blame.

In summation, if a man is to look to women for the sake of his development, then a greater discussion needs to be had. Now, we're pulling up on the talk of submission. A student is to submit to their teacher. If that teacher is me, then I am who you are to submit to. A teacher nurtures and supports their student. Many of you may not know this, but what you're teaching is men in submission to women and I know you don't want that. Once the work is done, you want the teacher (woman) to submit to you, the student (man). So basically, you want us to train you to be our boss. Yeah, because that makes perfect sense...no. No it doesn't. But anyone who wants to be in charge of something has to be prepared to qualify for certain tasks. Those who truly aren't prepared for such tasks will continue to seek scapegoats, be it their mother, their ex girlfriends, or their imaginary girlfriends and mothers. Imaginary girlfriends and mothers are celebrity women that these men sometimes tend to blame for their emasculation. Nonetheless, the Smiling Mammy is loyal to a flaw and countless numbers of men go women who represent that archetype when found in a bind...

then they get on social media and talk shit about those very same women behind their backs.

Just something to ponder.