Wives vs Mistresses

 

 

Dear Women of the Wives Club,

If by chance you catch your husband cheating, please don't go after the other women, especially if you're just gonna remind her that you take such good care of him, support him, submit to him, love him, feed him, reproduce on his behalf and take on his last name. You do realize that telling her those things don't make you look honorable. In fact, it makes you looked like an overworked fool because clearly, you're doing far too much for a man who is sloppy enough with his dealings to the point that you were able to catch him with another, primarily if it's not something you've both agreed to. All attention should be directed toward him. However, I do understand the failure to prioritize your beef. When reality strikes, logic and reason has a tendency to fly out of the window. 

 

Lots of women know the type of men that they're dealing with and because the last thing they wanna do is leave, they wanna see if they can get the mistress to refrain from being with him. Also, and this especially goes for women who have been in their relationship for lengthy periods of time, they don't wanna lose. They don't wanna feel as though they put all this work into this man, only to have the next women come in and benefit from it. Yes! The sickness is REAL! I'm not saying that you should up and leave him. What I'm saying is that some of you need to stop posting Pettysburg Addresses that shame mistresses, while you remain with the person who actually owes you everything. I'll never forget the ridiculous piece written by what appeared to be an obviously scorned woman that broke the term "other" down to the acronym, "Overused Toy He Eventually Releases." Do you see the sickness in that? The woman is the overused toy and your husband is what? I'll tell you what he is. He's the CHILD who saw that shiny, or not so shiny toy and wanted it. The last question is who or what are you? Well, you're the other woman, too. The only difference between you and her is that you may have gotten there first and/or been there the longest. Now you can refer to yourself as whatever you like. But if you're referring to yourself as anything other than a teammate, with him being the coach, you've got things twisted. It's time to either sit down with your mate and make some arrangements and come to some agreements, sit down with the woman and see if you can reason with her on some level, get rid of him altogether, or do like many women do and act like you don't see anything and keep silent. I hear lots of women talking about deserving better, but I don't see them seeking it. What they do is try to re-raise already grown men while trying to fight women who haven't made any vows to them and both options seem like far too much work.

 

It would be nice to see more displays of grown up relationships. I see far too many women with men they feel or have proof that they aren't faithful, and instead of finding someone else or developing an understanding that revolves around his particular character or personal nature, they drive themselves insane by checking phones, emails, inboxes and lightweight stalking. But you knew who these men were and they showed you time and time again. what makes you think you're going to change him or even have the right to? When the topic of polygamy is mentioned, some of these same women will talk about how nasty and disgusting it is to share a man KNOWINGLY, but what they will do is UNKNOWINGLY share men with other women because apparently, sneaking and lying is more respectable. I actually understand the mentality, just don't agree with it because I see it as downright silly. 

This isn't an attack on wives nor is it a support letter for mistresses. What I hope to do here is spark some serious conversations between adults that need to be considered without volatile outbreaks and with hopefully cleared minds. All I ask is that you consider what I've written. I see too many women at each others throats, with men at the core of the issue and the main culprit seems to be flying free without so much as a dent, while these women are left scratching at each others eyes when it could all be prevented.

Support Black Business, Abort Nigga Bidness.

No reputable business that owes you money or product would pay you back in dribbles. In fact, the most you may get is your shipments broken up in parts due to items being on back order. Unfortunately, there are those who aren't in the business of taking care of their customers. They're in the business of scamming the customer. They'll rob you, then lie and say that they were robbed. They'll do videos breaking down those lies, yet won't show you a copy of the hotel incident report from the hotel where the stuff was allegedly stolen or a police report that SHOULD have been filed. You've got ghetto, unethical heathens who appeal to black people by reminding everyone that they're black and just so happen to be in business. While I am a black woman and new business owner, that's not all I've got going. In fact, it's not even something I like declare because the idea is to promote products that live up to my claims while providing you with grade A+ customer service. People looking to appeal to you on a level that deals in something other than quality may very well be one to steer clear of.

No one is obligated to accept mediocrity from you simply because you're black. The real question is "Are you competent?" If by chance you're not, then you need to sit your black incompetent and incapable ass down somewhere and don't get back up until you learn something about proper business etiquette and ethics. Also, if you just need money to get on your feet or get you through a rough patch, just say so. I know, I know. Some of you have painted yourselves into a corner by ragging on those of us who had the courage to do so and you don't want the people you talked about knowing that you're doing worse than them so you resort to petty theft and dirty collar crime. To add insult to injury, you allow your customers to see you fucking off on Facebook and other facets of social media when you owe them money, product, or both when what you should be doing is getting your shit together so it doesn't take weeks and months for you to pay people back.

Out of almost 400 orders on and offline, I've had a total of 3 incidents and do you know what happened? Two didn't receive their packages and one received the wrong item. I was able to return their money not 2 months later and not in dribbles. I was able to refund their money right then and there because I know that you must keep a certain amount of money available for such situations. Because they appreciate good customer service and quick response times, they turned right around and placed another order. If your ass is broke, out of time and out of line, what else do you have to do other than make sure the very thing that feeds, clothes and supports you is running like a well oiled machine? See, that's the difference between Black Business and Nigga Bidness. Nigga bidness owners makes excuses. Black business owners take care of business....and we don't have to rest on the fact that we're black.

Black Business = Good
Nigga Bidness = Bad

One Sided Loyalty and the Strong Black Woman Okie Doke

You've got women, black women, who will support the most disrespectful male beasts alive. These dudes refer to you as God and Queen in one breath, only to demote you to bitch and hoe in the next. They publicly disrespect you by talking about your pussy, your choice of hair, your choice in a mate, your refusal to send naked pics, your refusal to play footsies in the chat box and give up your phone number and what does the Black Woman do? They dig deep down in their wallets and send money when they beg for it, they fund and support their failed business efforts and poor work ethic, they bail them out, they give them the first plate, they march, they protest, and when it's all over and done, they drop down to their knees followed by the dropping of their britches. Now you would think that after all of that, the least you could get was some respect, right? WRONG! Many of them don't even remember your name when you need money, when you get shot down, choked out and come up missing. You would think that after all of that, you'd at least be able to get some type of reciprocity, right? Yeah, still nothing.

Black women are going to have to break free from this Smiling Mammy Archetype that has been cast upon us. While many won't be saved, I strongly believe that the few that will stand to shake the very foundation of this black on black enslavement that has so many women spellbound. My daughter is the epitome of everything I wished I was and hope to grow to be because I've protected her from anything that stood to break her spirit or her will. She's quick to let you know that she won't be taking any of your shit, not today, and not tomorrow and she's still beautiful at heart and as sweet as pie. I grow stronger by the day simply by watching her and while she's not without her flaws, it's the very reason that she's perfectly imperfect in that regard. She's the breaking of my cycle and I'm proud of her.

But these niggas ain't loyal. These niggas ain't never been loyal. Even black men have been trying to teach this lesson to their daughters and do you know why? Because many of them know themselves, changed or not. If you're not someone you'd want your daughter to date, don't bring your ass around us. Since that's too much like right, Black Women are going to have to activate that "Niggadar" so we can see and smell them coming with their pungent and putrid asses. But yeah, their sense of loyalty isn't as strong as 1-ply toilet paper. But some black women sure do love bending over backwards just to show their support. In case no one told you, support is reciprocal, meaning something has to already be in existence for you to uphold. Now, you're talking about dudes in their 40's and 50's and my question is if they have potential, when the fuck are they gonna start using it?

But you keep standing in solidarity, only to be left standing alone when shit hits the fan and that nigga goes to his grave with the $20 he still owed you. I'll just stand back and wait for the usual "she's bitter, she's scorned, she's angry" deflections. One thing you had better know is that I'm not lying.

The Relationship Expert Penis Hustle

 I'm seeing a wave of women who are self proclaimed relationship experts. These women have advice by the boatload, wisdom for days, and knowledge of all things marital bliss. There's just one problem. THEY CAN'T SEEM TO MAINTAIN A FUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIP TO SAVE THEIR ASS! I've never seen so many serial divorcees, single mothers, and women with revolving doors of husbandry with such picture perfect advice. Well, surely if you can teach the rest of us how to keep a man, you can manage to hold onto one yourself and beyond the honeymoon stage, right? WRONG! These women know their track records just like we know them because with each and every love interest, comes numerous status updates about how wonderful their man is, then comes the statuses about how wonderful the next man is and the man after that and that trail of men just keeps on growing from the tails of their alleged virtuous skirts. So either there's something gravely wrong with them, or they've been lying about these wonderful men all along. How is it that men you were once writing poetry for, posting videos of love songs on behalf of and playing footsies with on Facebook and Instagram are now disappearing from your life? Not you, sister compassionate, sister submissive, and sister supportive. Surely, no man wants to leave you with your soft tones and fabulously prepared meals. I mean, is he out of his mind for leaving such an amazing woman, or are you simply filled with the shit of several different animals?

See, these women prey on gullible men who are desperate for the online validation of strangers because they don't get that from the people who know what they're truly about in real life. They make a living out of stroking men's egos, men who wouldn't give them the time of day in real life. What you'll find is that many of these women suffer from a gross degree of low self esteem and because they know that these guys are sitting around like Humane Society pups just waiting to be shown some love and admiration, they take that knowledge and run with it. They go tossing treats and petting heads and penis pandering all the days long with the hopes of scoring the sausage and hopefully, yet another marriage. As long as they manage to keep themselves married, regardless to the fact that it doesn't last beyond the honeymoon stage, they can sit upon their pedestals looking down at all the other single, unmarried and divorced mothers. It truly is sad to watch. You've got a bunch of men parading these women through the streets of Facebook in their dented and rusted chariots that are sitting upon spinners asking, "What planet did you come from and are there anymore women like you?" These women have never had it so good. All these men who love them...ONLINE, yet wouldn't give the the real time of day elsewhere.

You have to wonder about the man or woman who constantly shows their love and admiration, asks what's for dinner, and talks about what they had for breakfast among each other and online for the rest of us to see, as if they don't live in the same household or have each others' numbers. It's all apart of the over compensation that comes with fronting about your love online. Perhaps if some of these women spent more time pandering the penises of the men they married rather than random men on Facebook, they's be able to make one of these marriages last.

The best advice is that which is first, taken.

Submission is EXPENSIVE!

When a woman is submissive to the wrong man, it can ruin her for anyone who comes after. There's nothing like having your vulnerability exposed and exploited. There's also nothing like letting go of the steering wheel, only to have him run you up into a tree. Take a look at children. Children will run and jump off the top stair into your arms because they trust that you've got them. They don't even think about the possibility of falling. They just jump. Now, if by chance you drop that child or the child falls, that trust won't be there. I remember bathing my little cousin back when I was a little girl and the water was too hot. He stuck his foot in, rushed it out and cried a bit. Although I ran some cold water, he cried whenever I tried to put him in. the damage was already done and he didn't trust me.

The point is, some men go around begging for submission when the truth is, they're not prepared for such responsibility. All it takes is one good time for me to be dropped. After that, I step out in front not because I'm a bitch who wants to control men. It's because I have children who didn't ask to be here. I chose to bring them here. Because of that, I don't have time to gamble on a man's ability to carry us through to the finish line. Survival trumps a man's ego and no one has time to stroke him and at the possible risk of the entire family. To be honest, I still have yet to have someone explain to me what submission is. For the life of me, I can get a legible, valid breakdown. So far, examples I've been given range from upkeep of the home to preparation of meals and clothes, all things I'd do regardless, lest I stink, starve and live like livestock. Not speaking when the other person is, being respectful, being loving, and all things of the like appear to be basic, common acts of love and respect, not limited to one particular biological sex. So based on those examples, submission appears to be a one way street, not a dead end road. 

Based on my experience, the men I've seen begging for submission don't seem to realize how major the responsibility that comes attached is. You've got a great deal of work ahead of you, Sir, and you must be on point. You can't afford to drop the ball, not if a constantly agreeable woman is what you seek. Some of you who require that a woman be in total submission need her assistance to keep the home afloat. You need help with the bills and can't afford to without her financial input, yet you want her to function as a subordinate or understudy? You can't afford her the opportunity to quick her job. Then again, some of you have been known to have her quit her job and apply for welfare so you're both kinda like in submission to the government, but that's another topic. The point I'm making is that while many of you desire submission, all you can really afford is cooperation and there's nothing wrong with that. Society has taught men that it is there nature to be the boss of everything and everybody and that there is a NEED for them to be in control. You know, because apparently, men will DIE if they don't get to be in charge of everybody. Please stop teaching that men will perish and begin to wear dresses if they're not regarded as the heads of household. I would like to think that in a house with 2 functioning adults, that no one would need to be hailed as the Head of the household unless they had some other issues that needed to be worked out.

What type of King of Zamunda stuff are some of you really on? Even Prince Akeem was turned off by a complete yes woman. I also notice that men who claim to want these totally agreeable women grow bored with them. There appears to be something within human nature that requires challenges. these men will be found cheating on their sweet, submissive wives with hellcat women who talk back and aren't afraid to disagree. They begin to trample, step all over, and mistreat the very type of woman they've been trying to shape and mold. While some believe that women are running around convincing other women not to submit, you'd do best to look toward the men they've tried it with who TAUGHT them that's it's safer to have a voice and use it, along with your good sense followed by your feet and possibly your luggage. If you knew how hard it was for some women to talk their girlfriends and other loved ones out of financially, physically, emotionally and verbally abusive relationships, you'd realize just how ridiculous you look and sound trying to blame other women for keeping women from minding or obeying men. It just doesn't work that way.

Just something to ponder.

Nothing Like Family

I can recall hitting my brothers with everything from massive bricks out of the rock garden to throwing hot grease in their faces and do you know why? Because I refused to be their punching simply because they were older and male. My oldest brother jumped on me while pregnant with my 2 oldest children and while I jumped back, it was something I would have rather not dealt with. The sorry ass women in my family would always protect these animalistic males by bailing them out of jail to lying to the police once they arrived about what happened. I often felt alone and would even run away and seek refuge within other families because of reckless my family was. There really was no sanctuary for young children and women within my bloodline.

While neither of my brothers are beyond beating on women, my eldest brother beat a woman almost to death while my cousins, my mother's Sister, and her mother looked on. He did all of this while her 8 year old son looked on and screamed hysterically. He left his boot prints on her body, hit her with family size canned fruit till he split her skin, and then this 300+lb gorilla held both her hands in one of his, then proceeded to punch her unconscious with his free hand. Once he saw that she was lifeless, he then dragged her down the stairs of the front porch and once she was to the walkway, he proceeded to smack her face repeatedly in an effort to awaken her. Yeah, that's how you awaken a woman you just beat unconscious. you take your gorilla paws and slap her further into it.

Someone had the decency to call the police. He then jumped over the banister of the porch, took his shirt off alongside of the house, and ran off. When the woman's son tried to tell the police what happened, including trying to tell them about other times which included him busting the child's mouth open as he tried to help his mother, my grandmother told him to shut up, told the police he was lying and the whole 9. Needless to say, my aunt, the same aunt who had her teeth knocked out by him as well, opted not to speak up on this unconscious woman's behalf.

Once I got over the initial shock of my grandmother's death, I realized that I wanted her to die. She died a slow and horrible death, too. She would call my name each and everyday when she stayed with us. The night she died, my aunt said she kept calling my name, all the way up until she left. While I don't know how true that is, I hoped she saw my face before she took her last breath. I hope she recalled all her betrayal of women in general, the times she allowed my grandfather to beat her senselessly in front of her children, not realizing how it would damage them later on in life. My mother had a deep seated hatred for my grandmother, her mother, for not leaving him. My aunt, because she was his favored child, can't seem to recall any of the abuse. She just remembers them sleeping in the car while parked in the lot of the train station.

As a women's activist, I laugh when people talk about my hatred of men. "Oh, she must have been hurt, or dumped, and had her heart broken." Yeah, while all that sounds good, here's the real story. My initial pains all come at the hands of women. It comes at the hands of women who were supposed to love and protect me, rather than allow me to be ravaged while they stood by and said nothing. Each and every woman in my immediate family has done this. I mean from lying to the police to protecting the savage males who seem to be birthed from our family tree. I'm talking stories ranging from my uncle having shot the mother of his children and her friend right in his mother's, my grandmother's living room, to the physical assault of pregnant women, I've got a lifetime worth of horrifying tales to tell.

Well, I plan to tell those stories. I have every right to tell those stories. Far too many women are told to protect their families by keeping their mouths shut and those stories eat them from the inside out. Personally, I don't give a fuck about the a family name. I'll speak until my soul bleeds truth and my wings get lighter and I'm able to fly minus the regret of not killing these people myself. Everyday I wish I had forgiven less, stood up more and defended my own honor. I allowed people to hug me and say that they were sorry far too many times while later, doing the same thing. Today, I've got relatives who refuse to step in my presence because they know it's the equivalent to stepping on a landmine. Some smile and even pretend not to remember some of the atrocities that took place. Well, I remember. I remember it all like it were yesterday. My children can tell by the look on my face when I'm thinking about it. They'll say,"What are you thinking about and are you cussing to yourself?" Yeah, that's how I know it's time for me to get it out.

Don't remain silent for the sake of protecting anyone's image. Your mental health trumps reputation each and every time.

The Smiling Mammy Overplay for the Underlay

A typical teaching among women is how to raise men. No, not children. I'm talking grown, adult males. Of course, the flip side of this teaching is the fact that women can't and are not to attempt to raise male children. A male child's formative years should only be lightly grazed by a woman. She should never be found as the primary caretaker of a boy child because it likens his chances of growing up to develop a desire for penis, hairy chests and asses, women's clothing, gossip, Tyler Perry Movies and all things that apparently black women love to do. You know, because it doesn't really have to make sense as long as you can get a bunch of ignorant and uneducated people who suffer from mass cognitive dissonance to agree with it. Mass stupidity has a tendency to spread like wildfire.

So with all of the above mentioned, how is it that many of these same beings are teaching that women are to better adult males? You mean to tell me that I am incapable of raising a child into a functioning man, but can somehow manage to turn a box maker into an English Furniture Carver? Of course a layman would try to convince a woman that she could somehow morph him into a the CEO of the next Fortune 500 Company. It's all apart of the game. You teach women to settle so that you're capable of getting one. Even women are and have been teaching this madness and based on their own desperate experiences. Many of them are with the same box builders they started out with and do you know why? Because you can't raise a grown man. You can't do the job that some absent minded mother and/or absentee father may have failed to. Furthermore, you can't reconstruct his will nor his DNA. Successful men are oft times "Self Made." I'm not saying that they are built sans external input. No man or woman is an island and there's not a living organism on the planet that's independent. What I'm saying is, these men have a degree of ambition that with or without you, they're going to be something because they want to be. The way many of you speak, you would think that a single man was incapable of making something of himself.

What good is it to teach that men are to be heads of the household while in the next breath, teaching that men are to depend on women for their development? When a man is found behaving poorly, you look to his mother and this is the case even if the father is involved. They deem women the first teacher, but hold us responsible as if we're to be the ONLY teacher. If you find women who are acting as the first teachers, it's because the men have fallen off tremendously. Even while in the womb, the father can familiarize himself with his unborn child to where that child will recognize his voice once here. Once that child is birthed, it is the responsibility of all who agreed to be responsible to teach that child and at the same damn time. Some of you use this "woman is the first teacher" and "75% of the work is with the woman" mantra as cop outs and and scapegoats to relieve yourselves from daddy duty. If 75% of the work is with women, leaving men with a lagging 25%, then that means it takes more than one of you to make half a man. We haven't even scratched the surface of the whole.

When a man is found cheating, you blame women who made themselves available. You say things like, "A man will only do what a woman allows." I would think that a man's duty was to measure, to calculate and see if a thing were worth doing. But what natural head chief of staff of the household just does whatever is available, because it's available? Crack, Heroin, and sheep are available, too. Do you do them simply because they're available? Such a mindset doesn't seem capable of being in charge of self, let along an entire household containing other human beings. But the way many of you speak of men, you would think that they were mindless penises that blow whichever way the wind does. Feminist, such as myself, attempt to hold men to a higher standard because many of us believe that you should be functioning at a much higher standard. We don't believe that a woman's outfit, sexual offerings, or anything of the likes is enough for you to be given a pass to bypass respect, responsibility, manners, and common courtesy. Many of you don't have to really be men because women have been made to be your alpha and omega, your crutch and your cast, but only when you've done something wrong. When it's time to receive rewards, women are expected to be silent and support you in all YOUR endeavors. God gets the first shout out, then your real mama, and then comes you. But when it's time to place blame for the murder rate, infidelity, poverty, the divorce, the gay community, the prison rates and the list goes on, Mama will always be there to carry the blame.

In summation, if a man is to look to women for the sake of his development, then a greater discussion needs to be had. Now, we're pulling up on the talk of submission. A student is to submit to their teacher. If that teacher is me, then I am who you are to submit to. A teacher nurtures and supports their student. Many of you may not know this, but what you're teaching is men in submission to women and I know you don't want that. Once the work is done, you want the teacher (woman) to submit to you, the student (man). So basically, you want us to train you to be our boss. Yeah, because that makes perfect sense...no. No it doesn't. But anyone who wants to be in charge of something has to be prepared to qualify for certain tasks. Those who truly aren't prepared for such tasks will continue to seek scapegoats, be it their mother, their ex girlfriends, or their imaginary girlfriends and mothers. Imaginary girlfriends and mothers are celebrity women that these men sometimes tend to blame for their emasculation. Nonetheless, the Smiling Mammy is loyal to a flaw and countless numbers of men go women who represent that archetype when found in a bind...

then they get on social media and talk shit about those very same women behind their backs.

Just something to ponder.