Women Are the Greatest Liars

There has always been back and forth between men and women when it comes to who lies more. Then again, no there hasn't. For the most part, the underlying idea is usually that men lie and cheat most. Well, I call bullshit. Women are among the greatest of liars and this is made possible due to the arrogance of men. Men also make amazing liars out of women. However, men and their high emotional states are the reason that many women find themselves afraid to tell the truth or withhold their intentions in the first place.

One of the greatest lies ever told is that women are more emotional than men. In fact, that lie has been told and repeated so often that many have taken it on as truth, including women. Because men show emotion differently, they're thought not to be as emotional.Bit mistake. Let's take a closer look at this. Do men destroy property? Do they cry? Do they stalk Do they hit, do they kill? According to statistics, not only do they do this, but at a much higher rate than women. There are plenty of men filling the prison due to what they call, "Crimes of passion." Surely, taking someone's life and/or kicking someone's door down is an emotional act of the highest order. That being said, because male dominated society has taught men that it is in their nature to desire things that are against the nature of a woman, many men can't handle women treating them in similar manners that they've treated women. That coupled with being forced to withhold emotionmakes for an overreaction.

Let's discuss infidelity. Do women cheat? ABSOLUTELY! Do women get away with it? ALL THE TIME! Do you know why it's so easy for women to cheat? Because men have allowed themselves to be convinced by other men that when a woman really loves them, the possibility of them cheating with another man doesn't exist. This is what happens when you allow men to tell you what women are capable of and because women don't want to lose their chance at being someone's wife, they go along with the lie, while lying themselves. Of course, I'm not saying that there aren't women who haven't mastered monogamy. But don't you believe for a second that monogamy is innate within women simply because we're women. We have the same needs, desires, and feelings that men do. But in an effort to protect their feelings, men will lie on nature, will lie on science, and will lie on their gods and say that women are wired from birth to be with one man. What you'll find in all of this is that no one has ever asked an HONEST WOMAN what she wants and needs. Some of the largest "whores" on the planet are the ones teaching modesty in dress, chastity among men, and one man per lifetime. Now I'm using "whore" based on the very standards these self proclaimed righteous women have set in place. If you know any of these women personally or have experienced them personally, you know that they're lying their hind parts off. Their means of showing cleavage is bragging about their cooking skills and ability to parent, or so they'll have you think.

Men have been parroting the notion that you can't turn a hoe into a housewife, yet these same men want large amounts of hoe in their housewives. They want this breed of "Virgianic Hoe." A Virgianic Hoe is a woman who although she hasn't been with a man or more than one man, she magically learned to deep throat penis without gagging, pop it on a handstand, swing from chandeliers, and take it in every nook and cranny without complaint and all while throwing it back. They seem to want inexperienced women who have the skills of a well seasoned prostitute and life simply doesn't work that way. Because women know this, many will play that role to the fullest. They lie about the number of partners they've had whereas the men they're hiding from will proudly and gladly admit that they've lost count of how many women they've laid with and do you know why? Because they know that women are accepting of it. So basically, you've got women who will seek, accept and remain with men who are too weak to handle their truth, yet smile and turn a blind eye to the past of men Do you see why women are afraid of sharing their truth? It is because their men simply can't handle it. They end up having competitions in their head with your past lovers that you know nothing about. There is this part of them that wants to know that they were able to score you because they were the absolute best. It helps them to sleep better at night.

As women, people have a hard time believing that we are thinking creatures who. This is why we are told what and how we feel. This is why men, in their arrogance, will teach other men that we are so emotionally connected to men after we have sex with them. Just so you all know, women can separate sex from love and we do it quite often. While some of you think that we're dickmatized, meaning the penis is the glue that binds, you should know that that's very rarely the case with many of us. Sometimes, it's everything else you bring to the table that holds us in place. this is why you have women who once the relationship is over, they're talk about your little penis or your bold stroke. The truth is, all of that is likely true. However, the sex is good because it's with a man we love. It's the overall moment that's good. We want you to feel good about your penis regardless to how small it is or how weak your stroke because we love you and there's nothing Mr. Better Dick around the corner can do to change that. You've got men who are great in bed and still get rejected by certain women. Now what some of you may be confusing is the fact that some women have crushes or deep feelings about men prior to sleeping with them, and those feelings go into overdrive once sex is involved. But to say that ALL women are such emotional creatures who want to marry every penis they engage with is a massive lie.

Another myth, and this is such a precious one, is the one that teaches that women are designed for one penis only. Yes, another male biased teaching perpetuated by men who can't sleep at night unless they know "it's theirs." Oh you poor, delusional soul. Clearly this isn't the case because if it were, your wives, daughters, mothers and grandmothers would be able to count the number of partners they had on one hand. I know, I know, your grand maw maw was with your grand paw paw for 87 years and never once did she stray. Yeah, because grand maw maw would sit and discuss that with her grandchildren, right? I know, I know, Feminism has women thinking it's alright to have more than one man. Unfortunately, nature beat Feminism to that. What I want many of you to stop doing is creating gods that seem to favor men having all the fun. You all seem to have been constructed in a manner that allows you to to slip and dip your joysticks and all while remaining blessed and highly favored. Because science won't support your fallacies, you go pulling out your holy books promoted by holy crooks to prove your points that never seem to contain sound reason. Also, stop telling women that they keep a piece of every man that sleeps with them. It's as if you all literally make things up as you go. You mean to tell me that a woman is so passive that she can't determine what man leaves a piece of himself behind? Now THAT is what I call the epitome of loose. It's just more pseudo, made up as you go science to help fuel the same ancient lies.

I said all this to say that women and men aren't as different as we'd like to believe beyond the process of childbirth. Both men and women need to see our parts played in the upholding of double standards we experience. The lying, the cheating, all will continue until we learn to respect each others nature and if we can't, we need to learn how to move on and find people who better suits us. But to promote lies in an effort to ensure our comfort levels does more harm than good. We don't even have to broadcast, announce, and display everything we do. It's not about telling each and every gory detail of our loves and lives. It's about respecting the space of all involved and keeping in mind what's most important at all times. We are responsible for our actions and must measure how our actions affect those whom we're involved with.

The truth won't hurt so bad if you stop resisting.

The Negative Side Effects of Gender Biases on Boys

Whenever the sexual abuse of women and girls at the hands of men becomes a topic, I always notice that a man conveniently mentions the sexual abuse of boys at the hands of women, implying that we as women ignore such acts. When men ask, "what about the women who sexually abuse boys," I always direct them right back to the menfolk. I swiftly direct them to the men who boast and brag about having sex with older women in their childhood. I direct them toward the dudes who purchase adult prostitutes to put on their sons, nephews and so on. I remind them of the movie "Sweetback's Revenge" where the movie began with an obvious adult woman having sexual intercourse with an obvious young boy. The truth is, far too many men see it as an accolade to have landed an adult woman in bed as a youngster.

Dear Menfolk,
Many of these messes, you all are going to have to clean up among yourselves. The trash you keep stepping on and tripping over came from your own backyards. Another issue is the fact that I don't think those of you who bring up sexual abuse at the hands of women are concerned in the least bit. You just throw it in for the sake of winning a debate. As women, there is an overall disgust that many of us feel at the notion of a young girl, even if that young girl is considered a legal adult, being with a much older man. My question is, when are more men going to show the same degree of consistent outrage rather than pride in such acts? Antwone Fisher was one of the most earnest depictions of sexual abuse of a male child at the hands of a woman that I've seen in cinema and it was actually depicted as a despicable act. It showed how traumatized he was, still having been a virgin in his adult years not simply because he decided to hold out. It was the reason he held out. He wasn't comfortable with the idea of intimacy with a woman as a backlash of him having been raped by an adult woman as a child.

Men are going to have to take more of an interest in the sexual abuse of young boys at the hands of women, the same way you take such an interest in it happening at the hands of another man or boy. Far too many of you seem to be more concerned with same sex sexual abuse of male children because in your minds, that's what makes men gay. Many of you all would rather have your male children sexually molested (because you don't view it that way) by a grown woman than to have a consensual and age appropriate relationship with another man. You even foolishly think that homosexuality is simultaneous with male on male child molestation although according to statistics, your average pedophile is indeed, a heterosexual. This isn't a bashing of men. Hopefully, you'll take it as enlightenment on your own degrees of tolerance and really ask yourself why you tolerate and even encourage such double standards. Now if you're just looking to win an argument, keep throwing up women sexually abusing boys. But if you truly and sincerely want the same judicial handling of women that you see of men, your REAL LIFE attitudes are going to have to change. Some of you will go as far as to kill the man who touches your male or female child, whereas you'll try to see if you can get next with the women who does the same to your boys.

Black Women, Do Yourselves a Favor and Have Standards

Throughout my life, I've taken in stray pets of all kinds. When I was a little girl, I brought in birds with broken wings, lost cats and puppies, tried to feed and make pets out of possums and the whole 9 yards. I always had the desire to help someone, even if it meant that I didn't have much left for myself. As life went on, I applied this same mentality to men.

Back when I was making white collar money, I ended up with a guy who made $6 an hour. He was nice, could still count the number of women he had been with on one hand, had a nice smile, was very quiet and square. He had 2 children from 2 different relationships and was just an all around nice guy. My standard for dating him was absolutely ridiculous. I said to myself "OMG! Here's a guy who would rather work for $6 an hour when he could be selling drugs and so on." I basically praised him for doing things he should have been doing. Never mind that he lacked ambition, was being paid under the table, and refused my offer to put him through school to become a licensed mechanic so that he could make some real money some day. The fact that he was nice and worked for $6 made him alright with me.

Overall, I've always settled when it came to the men I've dated because my only real standard was that he NOT be a thug, NOT be abusive, and NOT be a pedophile. I thought settling is what I was supposed to do in order to be fair. I always felt that I would  be able to ensure that money would be no issue. There was a time when I thought I had a penchant for attracting men who had done lengthy bids in prison, that's until I realized that prison has been systematically built into black culture which simply made it very highly likely that I would. I can recall talking to men about escorting me to Libraries and Museums thinking it would help them. I can recall handing out college applications. I can recall trying to convince current dope dealers that it was alright to work at Home Depot and that it doesn't make you less of a man. I can also recall being laughed at by those who looked on. I really thought that it was my duty to save men who didn't ask for my help in that regard. Some would talk to me like they wanted change but I couldn't vouch for their sincerity since they kept selling dope. I found myself feeling sorry for black men all the time so I tried to wrongfully take some on as science projects. I would listen to them vent, then come up with ways to fix what they were venting about and unbeknownst to them.

I've only had 4 serious relationships in my whole entire life and I swear, I've turned down prime stock men in exchange for what turned out to be FARM STOCK! I thought that it was my duty to give black, poor, working class and struggling men a chance. Besides, I always knew my potential. I never felt that I'd grow up and NEED a man to financially secure me so it was nothing. During the times when it was visible that I was financially well off, men would make comments like, "Oh baby girl, I'm a broke ass nigga but if I wasn't, I try to get atchu." Then, you had those who didn't care that they were broke and still tried. I actually felt bad turning men down because I've always had a problem telling people "no." I never wanted to hurt anyone's feelings. Then as I got older, I realized just how dangerous it could be to say "no" so I always said "yes."

If I could look back and advise my younger self, I'd tell her to "JUST SAY NO!" It took me too many years to realize that I didn't owe it to anyone to give them a shot or a chance simply because they asked or because they did what they were supposed to do. This is why I admire my daughter's take no shit attitude. I don't tame her in that regard as long as she respects herself and others. My mother and father have always been pit bulls. They've always been financially wealthy, mean as hell and hard on folks, ESPECIALLY the poor. I would be so ashamed at the way they spoke to and handled people. Both their mantras for me were "fuck a man, get your education, get a job, and get money. That way, when you need to tell a man to kiss your ass, you can." My father stressed to me not to ever date a poor man who couldn't afford me. My mother stressed to me not to ever be poor. I took heed to their messages far too late in life, but at least I got it. After numerous bumps in the road and on the head, by George, I think I've got it.

My overall point is that as women, especially black and brown women, we really need to examine why we make the decisions that we make when it comes to our mates. In fact, we owe it to ourselves. Why are we choosing and/or remaining with abusers, farm stock, men who we're not physically attracted to and not financially or goal compatible with? Do we feel as though we owe these men and why? It took me years to release these mental and emotional shackles and now doors are really beginning to open up for me because of it. Are you a slave to a culture that repeatedly fails you, neglects you, and tells you to take it even if and when it hurts? Are you the slaves, of a slave? If so, what's the ETA on your deliverance from this voluntary slavery?

You don't have to answer to me. This is a conversation best had with yourself and now, but ONLY if it applies.

Post Traumatic Delete Syndrome (PTDS)

There is a SERIOUS and GROWING issue among us here in Facebookland. There are those of you who simply can't stand being removed as a friend from someone's Facebook Friend List. The fact is, nothing in your life is going to fall apart if someone decides they no longer want to be connected to you and if it does, then you had issues before, and unrelated to that person. For you to stalk, lurk, and find any and every means by which to get the party who deleted you to notice you is not only disturbing, it's quite sad and says that you've invested far too much of yourself into this world of social networking. What you suffer from is something I like to call PTDS (post traumatic delete syndrome). This is a disorder that is quite embarrassing even if you don't recognize it. There are side effects of this disorder are mind altering and distorts ones view of reality. The side effects are as follows:

Delusion- This is typically a coping mechanism used by disgruntled Facebookers. They have delusions of being too real, too honest, too beautiful, intimidating, or magnificent. They convince themselves that there was something so amazing about them that you simply couldn't take being acquainted with them any longer so you decided to delete them.

Obsession- Ah yes, the obsession side effect is a most frightening one. This is where the removed Facebooker strolls your page (if it happens to be public) and follows your activity by way of your mutual friends pages. They burst on to threads with volatile, sarcastic commentary, or they do something, anything that will ensure that you see them and hopefully acknowledge their presence. They will slander you openly, subliminally, or cosign the slanderous antics of another all for the sake of letting you know that they're see you, and are watching you. They will inbox you hate speech and insults or passively aggressively do so by way of their status messages. Scary, isn't it?

The Last Word and block- This is when the disgruntled Facebooker in an effort to take one last stab at you, goes to your inbox and spews negative verbiage with the hopes that you'll read it, then block you so you can't respond. This is a cowardly way of getting the last word minus a response.

Jealousy- They become jealous of those whom you still have as friends and/or those who agree with you and begin to insult them. They will refer to them as sheep, boot lickers, cheerleaders, ass kissers, fans, and entourage. Meanwhile, it was alright when they agreed with just about every status.

Memory Loss- This happens when you're dealing with a Facebooker who manages to forget all of their flowery, poetic, love filled, religious, and humanitarian quotes by public figures such as Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Elijah Muhammad, Minister Farrakhan, or those that they may have created themselves. They also forget their religious affiliation and behave totally contrary to it. PTDS has a tendency to cloud ones thinking and the end result is memory loss.

Once we're able to recognize PTDS (Post Traumatic Delete Syndrome), we will able to:

A. Keep from developing it

B. Deal with it when we see it

C. Approach it from an angle of understanding, and possibly offer sound solutions to the problem

D. Recognize it and eradicate it within ourselves

My advice for those who currently suffer from this disorder, know and understand that Facebook is a place of free will to a large degree. People may delete you for a myriad of reasons. That however shouldn't cause you to behave in an unsavory manner nor do you have to become so consumed by your Facebook contacts, especially if you haven't formally had the opportunity to meet with them. No one should have that kind of control over you, require that kind of energy, and occupy that degree of space in your mind. There is life during, after, and beyond Facebook if you go out and get it. Someone deleting you from their friend list should NOT be the end of your world.

So in summation...DON'T BE A CRAZY ASS!

Signed:

Sane Facebook Users

Polygamy: Nation Building or a Disaster Just Waiting to Happen?

There is a family structure taking the Black Community in America by storm. Polygamy is becoming as popular and common as said monogamous relationships. Both Men and Women are partaking in the reawakening of this ancient practice (polygyny, polyandry). But is it beneficial or detrimental? Some use it as their answer to Nation Building, and restoration of the Black Family. Others for the fulfillment of personal, sexual desires. There are many who will argue that it is the answer to the ailing Black Family Structure while others see it as justified infidelity. While scriptures such as The Holy Bible as well as The Holy Qu'ran support such lifestyles for male parties, it is NOT without stipulations and requirements. For example, the husband is to administer equal treatment upon all wives and shall not acquire more than one if he's not able to do so. Many argue that it is difficult to treat multiple mates as equals being that one's desire will always tend to lean to one, more so than the other/s. But what is meant by equality? Is one's personal feelings taken into account, or does this equality speak to material possessions such as ones living quarters, property, and personal belongings? Is one required to love equally or simply provide for equally?

Another major concern as it pertains to this lifestyle is the patriarch or matriarchs choice in mates. There are countless reports of unhappy polygamous situations. Why, you ask? Well in my opinion, it stems from those who are more interested in the fulfillment of personal desires rather than the fulfillment of a functioning family. Did you take into account the personalities of these men/women, their wants, their needs, their goals, also taking into account whether or not they coincide with the wife or wives, husband or husbands already in place? Did you choose these men/women based on what they offered to the union already in place, or did you choose these men/women based on what they had to offer you, and you alone? When dealing in polygamous situations, all parties must be taken into consideration. Will this be a mixture of oil and vinegar, or baking soda and vinegar? How will the children (if any) get along? Do these men/women even care for each other? The root of the problems surrounding polygamy is selfishness. I want, so I get, regardless to the feelings of all others involved. If you're basing your foundation for polygamy on who gives you a physical rise, then you are surely asking for trouble.

So what is the basis for a successful polygamous relationship? It's very simple, LOVE! Love has to be at the forefront of any successful relationship. I'm not speaking of love in a fairytale or made for TV romance sense. While that plays a part, that can't be the primary focus. There has to be a love of family in it's entirety for with that love will also bring about consideration. How do these men or women feel about the idea of rearing each others children i.e nursing (breastfeeding), schooling, and being responsible for them in the event that one shall pass on before the children reach adulthood? If the sole focus of this particular form of relationship is carnal, there will be discomfort and ultimately there will be problems that arise. Also, business and the obtaining of resources. I don't understand families with multiple partners and children who are barely capable of functioning. Everyone should bring something to the table that stands to help the family flourish in terms of economics.

In summation, before one strives toward the lifestyle of Polygamy they should be well aware of the pros and cons and familiarize themselves with the means by which to bring about balance. Also, before any of us enter any relationship, there should be a period of self study. This is done only through patience. It takes patience to prepare oneself for the entering of a union with another, then even more patience to be alone while doing so. While there may very well be instances where you just want someone to love and hold, if the preparation time is properly spent beforehand, it may just ensure the longevity of your union.

The Rebirth of The Gangsta Bitch Within the Conscious Community

Peace Family. After witnessing the demeanor of the alleged warrior women in the community, I feel compelled to address what appears to be a growing problem. There are a great deal of imbalances that plague the Black Community due to our rearing in this society. The immersion of the "Gangsta Queen" has arisen and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon. There are those who misconstrue being a warrior or soldier with being a complete savage. We've become aggressive in our dialogue and our actions which tend to spill over into our family dealings. There are countless numbers of Men who speak of being belittled, and bullied by their women. Children are also reaping the reprecussions of this imbalanced female persona. After witnessing numerous encounters between mother and child, I've seen mothers address their children with bass filled tones followed by aggressive physical interaction. Women have mistaken strength with brute force that is displayed in foul aggressive language and in the most severe cases, physical altercations.

So what fuels this Gangsta Bitch Mentality? Well it's simple, acceptance. This behavior is now being celebrated as an attractive quality. I've witnessed Males fueling this behavior by way of accolaides and praise. These same Males complain once the Gangsta Bitch rears it's aggressive head toward them. Now that they've become the target of this abusive, imbalanced woman it's an issue. How about the youth? Have you ever taken into consideration what how this roughhouse persona afflicts our children? What are we teaching our daughters about womanhood while behaving contrary to it? What are we leaving our sons to expect from women as they develop an interest in them? Being that most women are highly protective of their Sons, how will you react to him showing up on your doorstep with an attitudinal woman who strongly resembles YOU?

How do we cure this imbalance of the Woman? Conscious effort is the key to the cure. Many of our interactions are unconscious, automated,and routine. We don't recognize this behavior because it's become the norm. Those of us who have overcome the attack of the gangsta bitch have a duty to keep our Sisters mindful of themselves as opposed to supporting them in this madness. We must strive to embody the feminine principle by first recognizing what it is. We must also come into a correct understanding of what strength is. There's strength in rearing children who are self sufficient, intelligent and properly nourished. There's strength in birthing our babies without the use of harmful medications. There's strength in being consistent, in being serious, and in being assertive all while being respectful, humble, and upright. There's strength in having self control and mastering the elements (desires). The weakest thing we can do is behave contrary to our natural, original self succumbing to societal influences and circumstances. I'm able to identify the problem and the cure because I've served time on both sides of the spectrum. Experience has been my greatest teacher. Once I was able to recognize the problem, I was able to create and implement the solution.

Peace and Evolution Family

Is The Single Black Mother The Modern Face of The Madonna and Child

The Single Mother has become the new face of the Black Family. There was a time when the idea of not having a Father in the home was viewed as devastating, shameful, and down right frowned upon. However in the last 20 to 30 years, it comes as no surprise; in fact, it's expected. There have been countless round-table debates and Barbershop discussions as to the capability of Women effectively raising Male Children, providing them with much needed balance and the skills to function in society as Men. Many will argue that a Father is absolutely needed primarily in the male child's formative years. Others stand on the notion that as long as there are examples of self sufficient men available, balance will not be an issue. So is the issue Fathers in the home, or upstanding examples of Male Productivity? Does the Single Black Mother represent the demise of the Black Family, or simply a rearranging of priorities? Can this new face of the Black Family be rectified? If so, how?